Big Brother
by Grasshopper2
Summary: The FF8 gang has to put up with eachother for two weeks! PLEASE R&R! completed
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 or any songs that I use in here.  
  
A/N: I'm in a weird mood and I decided to write this.  
  
PROLOUGE  
  
INTERCOM: Selphie, Squall, Irvine, Rinoa, Zell, Quistis, and Seifer, please report to Headmaster Cid's office immediately!  
  
(I wonder what he wants? It can't be a mission because me and Seifer aren't SeeDs yet.) Rinoa thinks to herself.  
  
As Rinoa walks towards the office, she meets up with Squall and Zell.  
  
"What do you think he wants us for?" asks Zell to Squall.  
  
"Don't know, don't care." Replies Squall irritably.  
  
"Yo, chill out man!" says Zell defensively. "I was just askin' a question! What's with you today?"  
  
"Bad day."  
  
"Wanna talk about it, Squall?" asks Rinoa.  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh, okay. Well, we're here anyway."  
  
As they walk in, they see that the rest of them are already there. They all greet each other and Headmaster Cid comes in with a look of pleasure on his face.  
  
"Hello everyone!" he says expecting everyone to greet him back. They don't. "I'm guessing that everyone wonders why they're here?" Again, no one said anything. "Well," he said clearing his throat, "as you know, this school is based on military action. However, you need not only to survive by defense but also by putting up with things. Sooooo," he said dragging it out, "I would like to do a little experiment."  
  
"Could you get on with it?" asked Seifer annoyed. "I have my next class in two minutes."  
  
"Oh, you won't be having classes for two weeks." H. Cid replied.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Selphie now interested.  
  
"Ok, here it goes. All of you will be locked up in one big room for two weeks. There will be no interruptions. There will be a kitchen, bathroom, and two sleeping areas stocked with everything you'll need. We'll be watching you through a hidden camera in each room, except the bathroom, of course. All you have to do is put up with each other for two weeks."  
  
"Is this like "Big Brother?" asked Irvine.  
  
"Yes." Replied Headmaster Cid.  
  
"I'm not doing it." Said Squall.  
  
"Oh, come on you guys! It'll be fun!" exclaimed Selphie.  
  
"NO!" yelled everyone.  
  
"You will be paid of course. Also, you won't have to make up any work you miss." Said Headmaster Cid.  
  
"How much?" asked Zell.  
  
"2000 gil a day each."  
  
"Ok! I'm in!" Zell replied.  
  
"Me too!" said Quistis.  
  
"Me three!" yelled Selphie.  
  
"Fine." Said the rest besides Squall.  
  
"Whatever." But everyone knew that the prospect of 2000 gil made him happy.  
  
"Good! Everyone report at room 45 at 6:00 am tomorrow."  
  
"Ok."  
  
@*@  
  
That's all for now! Please R&R!!!! Next chapter coming soon! What will happen? *dramatic music* 


	2. The First Day

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8 but one day, I will work for Squaresoft and add myself in FF8 and be Zell's girlfriend.  
  
A/N: Thank you to my first reviewer: Savanah Bakura. Uhhhh.I'll see what I can do. Now on with the story! **********************************************************************  
  
Day One  
  
"Well, I guess this is it." Quistis said to Seifer as they entered room 45.  
  
"Looks kinda shabby to me." Commented Zell as he walked in after them.  
  
"What? Chicken-wuss can't handle this without his golden toilet seat?" asked Seifer meanly.  
  
Zell and Quistis gave him a look that plainly said: What the hell?  
  
"Suddup, I ran outta insults."  
  
"Well, that's a load off of my mind." Replied Zell sarcastically.  
  
"Great, what are you fighting about now?" asked Rinoa coming in with about five duffel bags.  
  
"We're not fighting! It's just a.uhhh.what's the word?" asked Zell looking down and snapping his fingers repeatidly.  
  
"Social disagreement?" replied Quistis.  
  
"Yeah! That's it!"  
  
Everyone groans. Squall comes in while the groaning procedes. He looks at himself and then up at them. "Hyne, I'm not that bad. Not that I care."  
  
"Well, what happened is.oh nevermind!" said Rinoa.  
  
"Ummm.Rinoa?" asked Zell looking at all of the bags she brought in. "This is only for two weeks, not two months."  
  
"Hahaha. Fine, if you don't want any of the snacks I brought then don't eat them!" she replied indignantly.  
  
"OOOOOO!!" exclaimed everyone reaching for the bag that said "Munchies."  
  
"What in the world?" asked Seifer holding up a bag of carrots.  
  
"Rinoa, WHAT THE HELL!" screamed Squall holding up a bag of wheat germ.  
  
"Awww come on guys! It can't be all bad. Look! Hotdogs!!!" exclaimed Zell eating one. He nearly choked. "What the hell is in this? Soy, various vegetables, and..TOFU!!!!!" he spit out. "THE EVILNESS OF IT ALL!!!!"  
  
"Hey..where are Selphie and Irvine?" asked Quistis.  
  
"Umm.who cares?" replied Seifer.  
  
Suddenly, Selphie and Irvine run in out of breath but not because they were running. (*winks*)  
  
"Hi-huffpuff-you guys! Sorry-huff-we're late-puff. We were called away for a few minutes." Said Selphie finally catching her breath.  
  
"What? No we weren't we were mak.." Irvine began to say but was interrupted with Selphie's elbow landing a blow in Irvine's chest. "OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"  
  
Everyone looked at the two of them. Selphie's first two buttons were undone on her blouse and her hair disheveled and Irvine had lipstick smudges all of his face and neck and his hat was tilted askew on his head.  
  
"Okay then." Said Rinoa trying to stifle a laugh.  
  
"Good morning everyone!" said Headmaster Cid. "Is everyone here? Good. Okay, at 8:00, which is in ten minutes, we will lock the door and you'll be able to settle in and everything. Right now though, I would like to make one simple rule: No killing each other. Okay? Okay. Well, I'll go on and leave and lock the door. See you in two weeks."  
  
"Good-bye Headmaster Cid." They all said unenthusiastically.  
  
After he left, they all unpacked everything and put them in the two sleeping areas. Each one had two bunkbeds in them and one big dresser with eight drawers. The three girl decided which bed and which two drawers were theirs for the two weeks in five minutes. Squall just picked a bottom bunk and one drawer in the boys area while the three others claimed them.  
  
"I call a top bunk!" yelled Zell jumping up a top bunk.  
  
"Whatever." Said Squall.  
  
"I want one too!" yelled Irvine claiming the one above Squall.  
  
Irvine, Squall, and Zell looked over at Seifer who looked at the only bunk left; the one under Zell.  
  
"I think I'll sleep on the floor." He said.  
  
Then he looked at the floor, which was covered with stains and dirt and then looked at the clean bunk.  
  
"Crap." He muttered putting his bag on the bunk.  
  
"Uh-oh." Said Zell. "Hey Irvine, wanna trade?"  
  
"Nah, I'm already settled over here." He replied. He had already taped a picture of Selphie on the ceiling right above him. (Selphie had done the same with Irvine's photo.)  
  
"Hey Chicken-wuss."  
  
"Don't call me that."  
  
"Yeah, right. You better go to the bathroom before you go to bed because if your mattress leaks, I will kill you."  
  
"THAT'S IT!!!" screamed Zell. He jumped off his bunk and they got in a fist fight.  
  
Squall and Irvine looked at each other and started placing bets. The girls hear all the commotion and come in. They also starts placing bets. Suddenly, they all hear a clunk and Seifer's gunblade slide across the floor. Seifer falls and Zell straightens up.  
  
"Uh.I think the hilt of his gunblade hit him" Zell says.  
  
"I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD HAPPEN!" screams Selphie. Then she went around and took everyone's money.  
  
********************************************************** That's the end of chapter 2!!!! Do ya like it? PLEASE R&R!!!!  
  
*hears someone calling out her name* *looks at computer to see Seifer walking across the screen*  
  
What do you want, Seifer?  
  
Why'd you make me lose?  
  
You didn't lose.  
  
Whatever. I no longer like you.  
  
You never liked me in the first place!  
  
Oh yeah. *walks off screen*  
  
O_o  
  
That was weird. Anyway, wait til you see the next chapter. *evil laugh* *coughs* 


	3. The Second Day

Disclaimer: Don't own it. It belongs to Squaresoft..Look we all know this.  
  
A/N: Ok, this one is going to be really weird. Irvine and Seifer are gonna get drunk and go..well, just read and review.  
  
Day 2  
  
"Good morning!" said Selphie coming into the kitchen where Rinoa, Squall, and Seifer were sitting. All of them literally had a pot of coffee.  
  
"Morning." Said Rinoa with a yawn.  
  
"Murmn." Said Squall cracking an eye open.  
  
Seifer was asleep and snoring in his coffee.  
  
"WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!" yelled Selphie.  
  
"WHA-WHAT!?" exclaimed Seifer finally waking up. He looked at Selphie evilly.  
  
"Why are you so tired anyway?" asked Selphie to them all. (If you haven't noticed, Selphie's wide awake.)  
  
"Irvine was snoring *really* loud." Seifer replied. Squall halfway nodded in agreement.  
  
"Couldn't sleep until two in the morning." Said Rinoa.  
  
"Oh." Selphie replied while getting a chocolate bar from the cabinet.  
  
"Is that breakfast?" asked Squall.  
  
"YUP!" replied Selphie taking a huge bite out of it.  
  
"It's gonna be a long day." Said Rinoa.  
  
Suddenly, everyone heard a bid thud followed by an "OW!" and cursing. They saw Zell walk in rubbing his head with his face twisted in pain. They all looked at him in confusement.  
  
"You don't wanna know." He said in reply to their faces.  
  
"Oh, but I think we do." Said Seifer with a sneer.  
  
"Fell off the damn bunk." He muttered.  
  
"Figures. Only a Chicken-wuss could fall off the bed." Said Seifer.  
  
They all heard another thud. Irvine came in with the same look on his face as Zell's.  
  
"Fell outta the bed."  
  
Everyone looked at Seifer.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
********************************************************************* Later That Day  
  
"Good morning everyone." Said Quistis as she walked into the living area.  
  
Everyone looked at her in wonderment.  
  
"What?" she asked. Then she looked at the clock. It was 12:30. "Oh. Good afternoon then."  
  
"I am soooooo bored!" exclaimed Rinoa.  
  
"Why don't you turn on the TV then?" asked Quistis.  
  
"Ok guys, let's watch TV!" replied Rinoa sarcastically and turning it on.  
  
"And if you buy this product for the low low price of $59.95, then we'll include this cheese grater! We'll be showing this number for the rest of the infomercial which ends in two and a half hours!" says a voice on the screen.  
  
Rinoa changes the channel.  
  
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too? This is the first episode of the 6 hour Barney marithon!"  
  
"NO!" they all say. Rinoa changes the channel.  
  
All they see is static.  
  
"See what I mean?" asks Rinoa.  
  
"Oh." Replies Quistis.  
  
"Well, I'm gonna listen to my walkman." Says Selphie.  
  
"I think I'll read the book I brought." Rinoa says getting up.  
  
"Same here." Says Seifer and Squall.  
  
"I'm going to take a nap." Replies Quistis. Everyone looks at her. "Shut up."  
  
"I brought my Playstation 2." Says Zell. "Wanna play Techan 3? (sorry I don't know how to spell it.)  
  
"Sure, nothin' better to do." He replies.  
  
******************************************************************* A Few Hours Later  
  
"BOOYAKA!!! I WIN AGAIN!!!" screams Zell while running around the room leaving a very angry Irvine behind. Irvine sticks out his leg and Zell trips on it, colliding into the wall.  
  
"HAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" laughs Irvine. Quistis walks out of the girls' room with a very angry look on her face. She goes into the kitchen. She comes back with a pan and a big serving spoon. She puts the pot on Irvine's head and bangs the spoon against the pot. She then goes up to Zell and just whacks him with the spoon.  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!!!!" she yells. Zell and Irvine are now unconscious. Seifer walks in and has the best idea (he thinks) in the world. He puts Irvine on top of Zell with both their shirts off and starts taking polaroids.  
  
"These will come in handy when the two weeks are up." He says to himself while waving the pictures so that they'll dry. "Nah! I have a better idea." He then gets everyone to come into the living area. Zell wakes up and finds Irvine on top of him and to see the rest of the gang looking at him trying to hide their faces of amusement/ disgust.  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!" he yells while pushing Irvine off of him.  
  
*************************************************************************** That Night  
  
"Hehe. Now I'll get my revenge on Seifer and Irvine." Zell said as he brought in a 12-pack of beer from the fridge. "Hey Seifer, Irvine. Those were some pretty funny jokes you played on me. So to let you know I'm a good sport, I got ya'll some beer."  
  
"Cool, thanks man." Said Irvine already opening one up.  
  
"Hmph. Fine, may as well." Seifer said. As they drink the whole case, everyone starts to go into the living area. Irvine and Seifer are also starting to get quite drunk.  
  
"Hey man hic." Irvine says putting his hand on Seifer's shoulder. "You're pretty damn hot now that I think about it."  
  
"Hic! So are you!" Seifer says. They start to make out on the couch with everyone looking at them. Zell then takes polaroids himself of them. However, Selphie is just looking at Irvine in awe with her mouth hanging open.  
  
"IRVY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" she screams.  
  
"Hey guys. I think I'm going to go to bed." Says Squall who is starting to look green just staring at them.  
  
"Same here." Everyone else says except Selphie who is still trying to get Irvine to stop kissing Seifer.  
  
*************************************************************************  
  
HEHEHEHE!!! Sorry all Irvine and Seifer fans for the bashings but I'm running out of ideas. Please R&R!!!!! Thanks to all of my reviewers!!! Shinimegami, thugstra, Rinoa's Best Friend, and Savanah Bakura!!!!!! 


	4. The Third Day

Disclaimer: I don't own FF8. It belongs to Squaresoft. (lucky them)  
  
A/N: Ok, people, I plan to go totally crazy on this chapter because I have my Easter basket with me full of candy.  
  
Day 3  
  
It was 5:30 AM and a shadow was lurking about.  
  
"There, all finished." The person said laying something on each bed. "Now, what should I do while I'm waiting for them to wake up? I know! I'll just....zzzzzzzz..." it said as it fell asleep. ************************************************************************** Two Hours Later  
  
Zell woke up with a yawn. But he was cut short when he saw Selphie dead asleep on the floor and snoring. He looked around and saw something on everyone's bed. He picked up the package and opened it. It had Easter candy and a pack of hotdogs. He sighed with happiness and looked over at Selphie. He got off his bunk and started shaking her so that she would get up.  
  
"Snore-WHA!" she said with a start.  
  
"Thanks for the Easter stuff, Selph." Zell said.  
  
"Yawn- You're welcome."  
  
"Want me to wake everyone up?"  
  
"Sure, may as well. We're up."  
  
"Ok. HEY EVERYBODY!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!"  
  
Irvine literally jumped two feet in the air and bumped into the ceiling. Squall woke with a start and tried to pull out his gunblade but it got stuck. He kept trying to pull it out but he accidently let go and his fist collided with his forehead. At this point, Seifer got up and started laughing his head off.  
  
"$#$^&*(O)&^%$%^%$$##@@!!@#%$%^&^&^&**&*&&**&*U(*(*!!!!!!!!!!!!" Squall cursed.  
  
"Yo! Look what Selphie got us!" Zell yelled. (hehe it rhymes!)  
  
"OH AWESOME!" exclaimed Irvine opening his package and finding a mini- shrine of Irvine and Selphie together. "Love you Selph!" he said bending down to kiss her and falling out of the bunk. "DAMN IT!"  
  
"Oh Irvy! Are you okay?!" screeched Selphie.  
  
"What a dumbass!" said Seifer.  
  
"Shut up you pig!" replied Selphie.  
  
"Geez, no need to get all upset about it!" Seifer said opening his package to find a gunblade sharpener. Squall opened his to find gunblade polish.  
  
"Thanks." Said Seifer and Squall together.  
  
"You're welcome." Selphie replied all happy again.  
  
"Cool stuff, Selphie." Said Quistis poking her head in. Her mouth dropped open as she looked at Seifer. His shirt was off and she never realized how hot he was. Seifer looked over at Quistis, whose hair was brushed out and hanging long. His jaw dropped. They both blushed. Squall, Selphie, Irvine, and Zell were looking at them this whole time and hiding their bewilderment.  
  
******************************************************************* Later That Day  
  
"Squall, you haven't touched any of your chocolate!" said Rinoa as she ate the last of her jellybeans.  
  
"I've never been fond of candy." Squall replied.  
  
"Oh, go on, try some!" said Zell who was combining chocolate and hotdogs together.  
  
Squall gave a relunctic sigh and took a nibble out of his chocolate rabbit. Then he took a bigger nibble. Then a bite. Finally, he just shoved the rest of it in his mouth. "THIS IS AWESOME!!!!" he yelled. He started running around the room and eating candy left and right.  
  
"Hey, watch this." Seifer said quietly. He cast haste on Squall and he started colliding into walls.  
  
"WOOHOO!!!!!" Squall screamed in a high voice because of the new speed he had. He jumped into the air and practically flew to the boy's sleeping areas. He jumped up on Irvine's bed and started throwing things everywhere. He did that to each bag in the room and did the same to the girls' bags too. By the time the magic wore off, it looked as if a tornado struck. During this entire time, the rest of them were trying to pick up the stuff he threw. They all looked at Seifer evilly. "Heheh." Seifer laughed nervously. Then they all cast stop on him and left him there for a few hours.  
  
"He makes a good statue." Zell said while taking more polaroids.  
  
"Oh yes, I agree!" replied Selphie.  
  
"He definitely adds to the décor." Rinoa agrees.  
  
"Whatever." Squall says who has to pick up everything in the rooms.  
  
************************************************************ That Night  
  
The magic finally wore off of Seifer and now he was sulking on the couch waiting for dinner to be served.  
  
"Who's cooking tonight?" asked Irvine coming into the room.  
  
"Selphie." Rinoa replied in a tone that bluntly said, "Crap."  
  
"Dinner es served-d!" said Selphie in a corny French accent.  
  
Everyone trudged into the kitchen at looked into the pot. It looked like ink. The top was still cold but the bottom was stuck to pan.  
  
"Umm..I think I'll just have hotdogs tonight. I'm not in a soupy mood." Zell said trying not to hurt Selphie's feelings. "HEY! WHERE ARE THE HOTDOGS!?" he said looking in the fridge.  
  
"Uhh..That's what I made."Selphie replied softly. Everyone looked in the pot again.  
  
"What else did you put in there?" asked Seifer.  
  
"Chocolate."  
  
"So there's no hotdogs left?" asked Zell turning pale.  
  
"No."  
  
Zell fainted. ****************************************************************** Squall on a sugar high? No more hotdogs? OH THE MADNESS!!!!!!! PLEASE R&R!!!! I'm trying to get to 50 reviews!  
  
*Quistis walks onto screen* Seifer's hot, don't you think?  
  
Ummmmmmm...  
  
FINE THEN!  
  
*Quistis walks off of screen*  
  
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING????!!!!!!  
  
Thanks to all of my reviewers!!! MastaDemonKittyn, shinimegami, thugstra: Don't worry I plan on making it a Seiftis in later chapters, CheriChicola, Moirae, Savanah Bakura 


	5. The Fourth Day

Disclaimer: I don't own it.  
  
Day 4  
  
"Hey guys?" Rinoa started to ask. "There are hidden cameras in every room, right?"  
  
"Yeah. Except for the bathroom." Replied Squall.  
  
"Oh, crap." Said Rinoa turning pale.  
  
"What?" asked Selphie.  
  
"Umm.who watches us?"  
  
"Headmaster Cid."  
  
Rinoa faints. As Quistis tries to revive her, Squall and Irvine look at each other and wonder what that was all about. Rinoa wakes up.  
  
"I-I've been getting dressed in our bedroom." She says with a nervous glance.  
  
"HAHAHAHA!!!!! That is hilarious!" Seifer says with his trademark sneer.  
  
"What's your point?" asks Selphie.  
  
"That means he has seen me without any clothes on."  
  
"OH NO!!!" exclaims Selphie trying to hide her smile.  
  
Everyone but Squall starts to giggle. He looks around at all of their faces and can't help that a little, tiny smile creeps up on his lips. Then he snorts.  
  
"Shut up Squall!" says Rinoa getting red in the face. She slaps him across the back. When she sees that that doesn't affect him. She starts mumbling words under her breath and pointing her hands at him. Everyone stops laughing except for Squall who has no clue what is going on. Then, his hair starts to become darker. It goes to a blackish shade but keeps going. By the time the spell is over, Squall's hair is now blue. Zell is about to tell Squall, who yes, is still laughing, but Rinoa raises a finger to her lips. Squall finally stops laughing and sees everyone looking at him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing!" replies everyone nervously looking at Rinoa.  
  
"Rinoa, what did you do?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Squall's eyes roll up and he notices his hair. "Oh Hyne." He mutters very softly. He runs into the bathroom and they hear him scream. Then they hear a thump. And another. And another. They all look at each other and run to the bathroom. They see Squall taking every possible shampoo, soap, Windex, and Comet known to man and poring them in the sink and throwing them back in the cabinets. He dips his hair in the sink where the chemicals seep into his hair. He leaves it in there for about a minute and takes it out. Or at least what's left of his hair. His hair isn't blue anymore but now there's almost no hair left. He looks at himself in the mirror and faints.  
  
"Umm.Rinoa?" Irvine says looking at Squall. "Maybe you should..put his hair back and turn it back brown.  
  
"Fine." Rinoa replies reluntically. "But if he laughs at me one more time, I'm turning it pink and keeping it that way!"  
  
******************************************************************* Later That Day  
  
Irvine and Selphie were in the corner on the loveseat laughing. Everyone else was watching "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" because there was nothing else to do.  
  
"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood..." sings Seifer with Mr. Rogers. Everyone looks at him except for Irvine and Selphie who are starting to make out. "Shut up. It's stuck in my head." He mutters.  
  
"Suuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrreee.." Says Zell.  
  
"Shut up Chicken-wuss."  
  
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!"  
  
"Chick-en wu-uss!" he says sounding out each syllable as if Zell can't understand him.  
  
"Hyne! Will you two shut up!?" yells Quistis.  
  
"Sorry Quistis." Both say.  
  
"Irvine! Cut it out!" exclaims Selphie from the loveseat. Irvine is trying to throw jellybeans down Selphie's dress.  
  
"Sickos." Squall mutters.  
  
"Irvine Kinneas! If one of those go down my dress, I will kick you're a$$!" One goes down her dress. Selphie grabs her nunchuckas and hits him in the head. His hat gets knocked off and Selphie yelps. "OH IRVY! I'M SOOO SORRY!!!!" Irvine gets up and goes to the bathroom without saying anything.  
  
"Oh great. Now he's mad at me!" says Selphie.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Sorry this was a short chapter but I'm running out of ideas. PLEASE R&R!!!!!!!! Thanks to my reviewers: CheriChicola, Billie The Wild Angel, u l t i m e c i a, shinimegami, Savanah Bakura, Timeless Enigma, Bounty Hunter.  
  
Savanah Bakura: Hey Grasshopper!  
  
Grasshopper: Hi! Whatcha want?  
  
Savanah Bakura: Nothin' much. Just wanted to see if you were working on the next chapter.  
  
Grasshopper: Yup yup yup.  
  
Savanah Bakura: COOL! Can't wait to read it!  
  
Grasshopper: Thanks for all of your reviews!  
  
Savanah Bakura: You're welcome. Well, gotta go! Bye.  
  
Grasshopper: Bye-bye!  
  
(Sorry, I did my best Savanah!) 


	6. The Fifth Day

A/N: This chapter is very weird. I don't own FF8. Thanks to all of my reviewers. However, I've gotten a couple from personal e-mail addresses. Please do not do that. Please just review on fanfiction.net. THANKS! NOW ENJOY! I COMMAND YOU! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAcoughMWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
"Don't worry Selph! I'm sure he'll forgive you!" said Quistis reassuringly.  
  
"I hope so.." Selphie replied unhappily. "I've told him I'm sorry a million times!"  
  
"Stop exaggerating." Quistis told her.  
  
"Who says I was?"  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Rinoa ran into the girl's room where Quistis and Selphie were reading. "Hey! I've got the funniest idea in the world!"  
  
"What is it?" asked Selphie jumping off her bunk.  
  
"I've got this stuff that will make people's dreams totally bizarre. I was thinking we could use it on the guys."  
  
"That sounds hilarious!!!!" exclaimed Quistis.  
  
"Shhhhhh! Any way, I was thinking I'd put it in their drinks tonight."  
  
Quistis and Selphie looked at each other. "Okay, let's do it!" replied Selphie.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
"Hey guys! Lunch is ready!" yelled Rinoa.  
  
"FINALLY!" said Seifer.  
  
"......What's there to eat?....." asked Squall.  
  
"Meat lasanga, (I think I spelled that wrong.) salad, rolls, and tirimisu (Same there.) for desert."  
  
"Wow, I'm impressed but for..lunch?" asked Zell.  
  
Rinoa winked at Selphie and Quistis and put a bunch of salt on the boys' plates before giving it to them.  
  
"Umm..this is a bit salty..." said Irvine.  
  
"Oh! Well why don't I get you something to drink?" asked Rinoa.  
  
"Okay..."  
  
As the boys were eating, their eyelids started to droop.  
  
"Man, I'm tired." Said Zell with a yawn. "I think I'll go take a nap..."  
  
"Same here." Said Irvine and Seifer.  
  
".......yawn....whatever..." said Squall getting up from his chair and going to bed.  
  
"Now the fun begins.." Said Rinoa with a gleam in her eyes.  
  
SQUALL'S DREAM  
  
Squall was on a stage at a café. All he had on was a very, very tight pair of black leather underwear. He was doing that weird performing poetry thingy. It looked like that scene from "She's All That."  
  
"I have a scar. A very scarry scar. It's in a diagonal line, Across my head." He recited as he crawled around on stage. "COME MY MUNCHKINS!"  
  
Suddenly, five or six munchkins with blue faces, red eyes, and white spandex body suits came running in with green hankies and forming a circle around Squall. Then they started waving the hankie with both hands and jumping up and down saying, "I am his man servant" in a high scratchy voice. Squall then started dragging himself around on the ground and going, "My life.is a like a grape...rotten.."  
IRVINE'S DREAM  
  
Irvine was on the edge of swamp. Only he wasn't Irvine anymore. He was a mongoose with long hair and a cowboy hat. He tried to talk but all that was coming out were quacks. That's right. He was a quacking mongoose. He stood up on his hind legs and he suddenly got the urge to dance. Some music came on from overhead. "Quack quack quack?" (That means "Hyne, thank you for music.) "QUUUUUUACK!!!!!" (That means "NOOOOOO NOT THIS!") It was the Pokemon Theme Song.  
  
"I want to be the very best, That no one ever was. To catch them is my real test To train them is my cause! I will travel across the land, Searching far and wide. These pokemon to understand, The power that's inside. POKEMON!"  
  
While the song was playing, Irvine had started to the macarana. "Quack quack quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quak quuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaack quak quak quak quak." (Tune of the macarana song.)  
SEIFER'S AND ZELL'S DREAM  
  
Seifer and Zell were sitting on a couch watching "Steel Magnolias". They started to inch closer to each other and make out. Then Headmaster Cid joined them.  
  
*ends all dreams*  
  
Squall woke up screaming. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WAIT....whatever....." He falls back asleep.  
  
Irvine wakes up screaming. 'QUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAACKKKKK!!!!!!" He hits his head on the ceiling and is knocked unconscious.  
  
Seifer and Zell wake up screaming. They look at each other with huge eyes and cast spells on each other at the same time. They are also both knocked unconscious.  
  
That Afternoon  
  
"That was hilarious!!!" screamed Quistis gasping for breath....((Sorry didn't write there for about five minutes...in shock..mom told me....go on.....DIET! must...stop..for...the night..........)) ((OKAY I'M BACK TO WRITING!))  
  
"OH I KNOW!!!! You recorded it with the sound recorder, right?" Selphie asked Rinoa.  
  
"Yup. Good thing they talked in their sleep!"  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" laughed all the girls.  
  
"What's so funny?" asked Zell coming in with a frown his face.  
  
"Nothing!" said the girls quickly.  
  
".............!!!!!" Squall came into the room.  
  
Irvine comes into the room doing the macarana. The girls burst out laughing all over again. Seifer comes out and sees Zell. He turns around and walks right back into his room.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********  
  
That Evening  
  
"GUESS WHAT GUYS!" exclaimed Rinoa as she came into the living room to all of her friends watching Arthur the Anteater.  
  
"What?" asked Squall in a bored voice.  
  
"I just remembered that I brought my portable DVD player!"  
  
Everyone looked at her evilly.  
  
"Well SOOOOOORRRY! But it was at the very bottom of my suitcase!"  
  
"Which one?" muttered Seifer.  
  
"What was that!?" Rinoa said holding up a picture of Seifer with pink hair.  
  
"NOTHING!" he said quickly realizing what would happen if he disagreed with her.  
  
"Good. Anyway, the only video I brought is "The Ring".  
  
"WHO CARES! Just put it in." said Quistis turning off the TV so they could hook up the DVD player.  
  
"Ummm..I think I'll just go read." Selphie said getting up.  
  
"What? Are you scared?" Irvine scoffed.  
  
"NO! It's just that....."  
  
"Thought so." Irvine said indignantly.  
  
"Fine! I'll watch it!"  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
Ten Minutes Into the Movie  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH! HER FACE! WHAT HAPPENED TO HER FACE!?" screamed Selphie jumping behind the couch.  
  
"It's just a movie Selph!" said Zell.  
  
"I DON'T CARE! IT'S SCARY!"  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
Near the End of the Movie  
  
"OH MY HYNE! SHE'S WALKING OUT OF THE TV! NOAH! GET OUT! PUNCH HER! DO SOMETHING!" Selphie starts to cry.  
  
Irvine finally sees how sensitive she is. "Hey, don't worry." He says in a soothing voice.  
  
"Irvine?" Selphie says questioningly as she sits right next to him and snuggles.  
  
"AWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Quistis and Rinoa say looking over in their direction.  
  
Squall blinks. "Whatever....."  
  
"What time is it?" asks Seifer when the movie is finally over.  
  
"Uhhh.." Says Zell looking at his watch. "11: 30 PM. Time for me to go to bed. Night ya'll!"  
  
Everyone yawns and gets up except for Irvine and Selphie who are fast asleep in each other's arms.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
YAY! That one's finally done! Please R&R!!!! 


	7. Thank You! Space Filler

This is a chapter to thank all of my reviewers so far!!!!!  
  
1. Savanah Bakura- I'm glad you like it so far! *hugs* You are one of my most faithful reviewers! Thank you! 2. Rinoa's Best Friend- I love it when people to tell me to write more because it makes me feel like a good author. Thank you! 3. thugstra- Thanks for the advice on the Seiftis. It gives it a thicker plot. 4. CheriChicola- Thanks for reading! Umm.I don't think I'll do the closet thing. 5. Moirae- *lip trembles* B-but you bash Zell! LOL just kidding! 6. shinimegami- Remind me never to give you chocolate. LOL! 7. ChaosKittyn- Yeah, it's gonna be long. Everyone needs to read her story "Thicker Than Blood" and review so that she'll put up the last chapter. Otherwise, I think Moirae's gonna pop. 8. Bounty Hunter- Thanks for reviewing! Hope you like it so far. 9. Timeless Enigma- Thanks for helping me spell that. I meant Tekken 3. Believe me, I've only played it like two times so I have no clue what I was saying. It was just the first game I could think of. Well, besides FF8 but that would have been way too weird... 10. u l t i m e c i a- NO! DON'T MELT! Then I wouldn't be getting your nice reviews! 11. Billie The Wild Angel- I'm glad you like it so much that you sent me a personal e-mail saying that you liked it! Thanks! 12. Angel Fairy Sakura- Believe me. I will continue. I still have like, eight chapters to write. I'm glad you like it! 13. excalibur-the canEHdian angel- I might do the trial thing. Especially if Zell finds a hotdog but Selphie claims it...OOOOOO! I just might put that in there! 14. Sorceress Blade- I'm glad you like it! 15. Karla- Don't worry, more Seifer bashings coming! Sorry Seifer fans...I can't spell either. I think one day my spell check will blow a fuse. 16. Ralien- I'm glad you thought it was funny! I'm soooooo glad you like it! 17. Jennifer- Thanks for reviewing! Do you have a fanfic name? If you do, I would like to read some of your fics.  
  
THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS!!!!!!!! I have a goal of fifty so please keep sending them in! 


	8. The Sixth Day

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Final Fantasy 8 nor the song "Stay on the Sunnyside."  
  
A/N: I'm running out of ideas so please bear with me.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
DAY 6  
  
Everyone but Selphie was in the living room watching "The Ring." Again. They were starting to get really bored.  
  
"Just wondering." Said Rinoa, "What does a three-legged animal hopping into a barn have to do with any of the signs in this movie?"  
  
"Actually, I was wondering that myself." Replied Irvine.  
  
"I don't know either." Agreed everyone else.  
  
"So what's the point?" asked Rinoa.  
  
"That movie producers are stupid?" guessed Zell.  
  
"......probably..." Said Squall.  
  
"Hey. Where's Selphie?" asked Quistis.  
  
"She's in the bedroom. She brought her laptop and is probably on the internet." Answered Irvine.  
  
"Do you think she'll let me use it?" asked Seifer.  
  
"What do you want it for?" asked Quistis.  
  
"Ummm...nothing."  
  
"coughporncough" said Zell.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY CHICKEN-WUSS!?"  
  
"I HAVE TOLD YOU REPEATEDLY NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"  
  
"Oh yeah, what are you going to do about it?"  
  
"THIS!" yelled Zell pulling out his gloves and putting them on.  
  
"Umm.Seifer?" Irvine started to say. "You might wanna stop because I've seen him kill T-Rexasaurs with one blow with those gloves..."  
  
"That's only because they're too stupid to move out of the way." Seifer replied pulling out his gunblade.  
  
"WELL! Time to go check on Selphie." Rinoa said running out of the room.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Irvine said doing the same thing.  
  
"I think I'll stay and watch." Said Squall with Cures at hand.  
  
"Ummm..BYE!" exclaimed Quistis with a look that plainly said: It's your funeral.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" came a scream from the girls' bedroom.  
  
"SELPHIE!!! WHAT'S WRONG?" Irvine yelled over her screams. As they're all running in, Selphie runs out and knocks them all down.  
  
"H-HELP ME!!!"  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Rinoa standing up.  
  
"C-come h-here and l-look." Selphie stuttered. They all went in.  
  
"I don't see anything." Said Zell looking around the room.  
  
"It's on the computer screen." Selphie replied hiding behind Irvine, who was also looking scared at the moment. Quistis walked up to the laptop- which looked as if it had been thrown from one of the top bunks- straightened it up, and read: You're a @#$%^&*((*&&^%%$%)*)(%^$$ girl who is so @#@%#*$)&*^)^& weird and I'm gonna %%&^)^%#$%#* kill you!!!!!  
  
"What in the world?" asked Zell.  
  
"I dunno." Said Seifer.  
  
".....Sounds like Cid Highwind...." Commented Squall. Everyone turned to look at him. "What?"  
  
"That's probably the longest sentence you've said in the past week!" Rinoa exclaimed.  
  
"WHO CARES!?" screamed Selphie, still afraid. "I just want him to stop cussing me out!"  
  
"I though you were afraid of the death threats." Said Irvine with a look of wonderment on his face.  
  
"Oh, no. I know no one would kill me!" Selpjie replied doing one of those anime posses. Everyone but Squall falls over anime style.  
  
"Whatever." Said Squall.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
That Night  
  
"I am sooooo bored!" Zell said for about the fiftieth time that night.  
  
"Well, so are the rest of us, Chicken-wuss." Said Seifer draping his arm over Quistis' shoulders. Quistis sighed with contentment and melted into a happy Quistis puddle. ((Not literally folks.)) By now, Zell had started ignoring Seifer's comments and the Chicken-wuss jokes. "Yo, Zell. I said Chicken-wuss."  
  
"I know." Zell replied calmly.  
  
"But I said Chicken-wuss." Seifer said starting to get upset.  
  
"Yeah, so?" asked Zell beginning to be amused.  
  
"B-but, you hate that name."  
  
"I've gotten used to it."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT WAS MY LAST INSULT!!!!! NOW WHAT DO I DO!? I KNOW!!! MOMMA'S BOY!!! ZELL'S A MOMMA'S BOY!"  
  
Zell yawns. Everyone looks between the two. Seifer is still spitting out insults that are only making Zell laugh.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Seifer faints.  
  
"Hmmm..too mush excitement for the little bugger I suppose." Zell said calmly. Everyone but Quistis start to clap. Quistis slaps Zell, hard.  
  
"YOU BIG JERK!" she screams. Seifer wakes up. "SEIFER! You're awake!" Zell is still in shock from the outburst. Actually, so is everyone else. Including Seifer. "Oh, Seifer! I thought you were gone forever." Quistis said dramatically.  
  
"But, he was only unconscious." Said Irvine.  
  
"Stay out of it, Irvine." Zell replied to the cowboy. "You don't want another outburst from her."  
  
"Hey babe. I would never leave ya." Seifer said in reply to Quistis, stroking her arm.  
  
"I know." Quistis said seductively. They kissed.  
  
"This has been a really weird day." Rinoa says rubbing her temples.  
  
"BUT EVERYONE'S HAPPY!" Selphie screeched. In fact! I've gotta song about being happy!"  
  
"NO!" screams Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, and Zell. Seifer and Quistis are still making out. However, she sings anyway.  
  
((A/N: I hope this formats right.))  
  
"Stay on the sunnyside.  
  
Always on the sunnyside.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. Da da da da da!  
  
You will feel the pain as I drive you all insane.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. KNOCK KNOCK!"  
  
"Who's there?" asks Rinoa hesitantly.  
  
"Ether." Selphie says.  
  
"Ether who?"  
  
"IT'S THE ETHER BUNNY! YAAAAAAY!"  
  
"Stay on the sunnyside.  
  
Always on the sunnyside.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. Da da da da da!  
  
You will feel the pain as I drive you all insane.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. KNOCK KNOCK!"  
  
"Who's there?" Rinoa asks deciding to go along with it. "Another."  
  
"Another who?"  
  
"It's another Easter Bunny! YAAAAAAYYYY!"  
  
"Stay on the sunnyside.  
  
Always on the sunnyside.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. Da da da da da!  
  
You will feel the pain as I drive you all insane.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. KNOCK KNOCK!"  
  
"Who's there?" Rinoa asks starting get annoyed.  
  
"YET!"  
  
"Yet who?"  
  
"YET ANOTHER EASTER BUNNY!!! YAAAAAAYYYY!!!"  
  
"Noooo." Zell says staring to fall to the floor.  
  
"Stay on the sunnyside.  
  
Always on the sunnyside.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. Da da da da da!  
  
You will feel the pain as I drive you all insane.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. KNOCK KNOCK!"  
  
"THIS BETTER BE IT! Who's there."  
  
"Vroom vroom." Selphie says making a noise like a motorcycle.  
  
"Vroom vroom who?  
  
"Vroom vroom all over the Easter bunnies!!! YAAAAAYYY!"  
  
"Stay on the sunnyside.  
  
Always on the sunnyside.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. Da da da da da!  
  
You will feel the pain as I drive you all insane.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. KNOCK KNOCK!"  
  
"GAAAAARRRRRRR!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" screams Rinoa.  
  
Zell takes over only because he wants it to end. "Who's there?"  
  
"Boo."  
  
"Boo who?"  
  
"DON'T CRY! EASTER BUNNIES WILL COME NEXT YEAR!!! YAAAAAYYY!!!!  
  
Seifer and Quistis have stopped making out because of the annoyance of the song. Squall and Seifer look at each other, nod, and take out their gunblades making a silent agreement to hurt Selphie VERY badly if she sings one more time. Selphie, unaware of this however, keeps singing.  
  
"Stay on the sunnyside.  
  
Always on the sunnyside.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. Da da da da da!  
  
You will feel the pain as I drive you all insane.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. KNOCK KNOCK!"  
  
"Who's there?" Zell says robotically.  
  
"Orange!"  
  
"Orange who?"  
  
"ORANGE SELPHIE BETTER STOP IN 3 SECONDS OR WE KILL HER!" screams Seifer.  
  
"What!? That's not how the song goes!" yells Selphie still totally oblivious to what's going on. However, Irvine takes the hint and goes up to Seifer and Squall and starts making wussy attempts to punch them.  
  
"LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND ALONE!" Squall knocks Irvine off but puts his gunblade away. Seifer does the same.  
  
"Just hurry up and finish Selphie." Squall says defeatedly.  
  
"Okay! Knock knock!"  
  
"Who's there?" They all say.  
  
"Orange."  
  
"Orange who?"  
  
"Orange you glad I didn't say Easter Bunny!? YAAAAYYY!"  
  
"Stay on the sunnyside.  
  
Always on the sunnyside.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life. Da da da da da!  
  
You will feel the pain as I drive you all insane.  
  
Stay on the sunnyside of life."  
  
"GAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR...." everyone says.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Okay, that was a little random but as I said, I ran out of ideas. Please keep the reviews coming! Thanks to my current reviewers: taralockheart04 ((Yup, I'll be doing the whole two weeks. Thanks for the nice review!)), Joryuusakka ((Tehe! That's my fave part too!)), Savanah Bakura ((I love Zell too but since I'm doing Seifer bashing, I think I'm going to have to do Zell bashing even though it breaks my heart. Almost literally.)), Rinoa's Best Friend ((I'm glad you like it!)), Black-Mage-woman ((You're fic "In the Real World" is lookin' good. I hope you update!)), Choco-gal ((I'm glad you like it!!!)), Spincut ((I'm glad you're impressed with it. Squall bashings are gonna be kept to a minimum from now on also.)), Denim ((And you're a very nice person. ^_^)), twenty-four cent ((I'm glad you like it! I'm trying!)), water-lily43 ((I liked Squall's dream the best too. ChaosKittyn, a friend of mine, started freaking out when I told her I was going to do that. ^_^)), NuTtIeGuRl ((I really have no clue how I do this. The ideas pop into my head as I write..)), KahlanAmnell ((I'm really glad you liked it and tell your friends I said thanks for reading it too! ^_^)), u l t i m e c i a ((WOW! I had no clue this fic had so much effect on people! AWESOME!)), inoaheartilly ((I'm glad you like it! "Blame Galbadia" is really funny too! Hope to read more of your stuff!)), ChaosKittyn ((*innocently* No I didn't...^_^)), lionhearted ((I'm glad you liked it! I thought that last part was a nice touch for the people, like me, who love fluff! ^_^!!!))  
  
THANK YOU ALL REVIEWERS!!! You have no idea how much it means to me *sniffle* to get a nice review. *cries with joy* Okay, *dries tears* now I'm getting all mushy on you! Please R&R!!!!!!!!! For now, bye-bye! 


	9. The Seventh Day WOW! I'm halfway done!

DISCLAIMER: I hate these things..I DON'T OWN IT!!!!!  
  
A/N: Squall's gonna seem a little bit out of character...  
  
THE SEVENTH DAY  
  
"Wow, we've been here for a whole week!" exclaimed Selphie bouncing into the kitchen.  
  
"Don't remind me.." Squall replied with his head on the table.  
  
"We've only got one more week to go!" said Zell looking in the fridge for something to eat. Then, when he took out some stuff in tinfoil, he started grinning like a madman. He started throwing things out of the fridge, accidentally hitting Rinoa, Squall, and Selphie in the process.  
  
"Hey everyone." Irvine said entering the room, promptly getting hit with an egg. "GEEZ! Soooooorrry for entering!"  
  
"Sorry!" came a muffled cry from the fridge.  
  
"What's up with Zell?" asked Irvine.  
  
"Dunno, he started doing that about 10 seconds ago." Rinoa replied.  
  
"MY PREEEEEEECCCCCIIIOOOOOSSSSSSSS!!!!" Zell yelled finally coming out of the fridge.  
  
"What?" asked Squall who was now totally confused.  
  
"I-I-I f-found a h-h-h-h-h-h-h..."  
  
"SPIT IT OUT!" yelled Irvine.  
  
"I FOUND A HOTDOG!!!!!!" screamed Zell with glee on his face.  
  
"Wow..so exciting." Squall said sarcastically putting his head back down on the table. Yet little did he know that Rinoa had set very cold cereal and milk in front of him. Let's just say Squall was neither happy nor dry in the next few seconds. "RINOA!"  
  
"Hey! It's not my fault!" By the time all this had happened, everyone was in the kitchen, staring. Also, Selphie had gone over to Zell and a fight over the hotdog erupted.  
  
"IT'S MINE!" screamed Selphie.  
  
"NO IT'S NOT! I FOUND IT FIRST!!!" Zell screamed in reply. As he was about to eat it, Selphie grabbed it from him and tried to eat it herself. By this point, Squall was very very angry.  
  
"SHUT UP!!!!" he screamed. Everyone was silent. There weren't even crickets chirping. "Okay, the only way we're ever going to settle it is to have a trial."  
  
"Fine." Zell and Selphie agreed.  
  
***************************************************************  
  
"Okay, Irvine will be the judge," Squall started, "Seifer, Quistis, Rinoa, and I will be the jury, and Zell and Selphie will be the people.ummm..fighting over the hotdog.."  
  
"Okay." Everyone said.  
  
"Selphie, will you please come up to the bench?" asked Irvine.  
  
"OK!" exclaimed Selphie.  
  
"Now, where were you on the night of June 21, 1967?"  
  
"Ummm..I wasn't born then." Selphie said confusidly. ((A/N: Doubt that's a word.))  
  
"Oh, yeah.Okay, where were you when Zell found the hotdog?"  
  
"I was sitting at the table about to get some chocolate."  
  
"Now, do you have chocolate everyday for breakfast?"  
  
"Yup!"  
  
"Geez. Okay, Why do think the hotdog is yours?"  
  
"Because I was supposed to use it for dinner that night I made the hotdog/ chocolate soup!"  
  
"But you didn't.."  
  
"SO!!!!!?????"  
  
"S-sorry Selphie. You can go sit down now." Irvine said cowering in fear.  
  
"Okiday!" she said skipping back to her seat."  
  
"Now, Zell, will you come up to the bench?"  
  
"Okay." Zell said walking up with the hotdog clutched to him.  
  
"Sorry Zell, but we'll have to take that." Said Squall getting up.  
  
"NO! YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!!!!!!" Zell screamed. Squall took out his gunblade.  
  
"That can be arranged."  
  
"Ummm, here ya go!" Zell said tossing the hotdog to him.  
  
"Now Zell, why do you think the hotdog is yours?" asked Irvine.  
  
"Because I found it and everyone knows I love hotdogs!"  
  
"Who bought the hotdogs?"  
  
"I dunno. Headmaster Cid I guess."  
  
"Then it's Headmaster Cid's."  
  
"B-but he bought it for us to h-have." Zell said close to tears.  
  
"Okay, this is getting really old really fast!" said Squall. He took out his gunblade. "Okay, since Zell and Selphie can't decide whose hotdog it is, I'm going to split it in half. That way, you'll both get some."  
  
"Fine. Give me my half." Selphie said.  
  
"NO!!! DON'T CUT IN HALF!! GIVE THE WHOLE THING TO SELPHIE THEN!!" Zell screamed.  
  
"Okay, Zell, the hotdog is yours." Said Squall throwing the hotdog to him.  
  
"B-but why!" screamed Selphie.  
  
"Because, if you had really wanted the hotdog, you would have not wanted to cut it in half. Zell would have willingly given the hotdog to you as long as we didn't cut it." Said Squall logically. "Right Zell?"  
  
"Hmmm?" Zell asked with his mouth full. Everyone falls over anime-style.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
That Night  
  
"I'm bored." (Zell)  
  
"Me too." (Irvine)  
  
"Me three." (Selphie)  
  
"Shut up you three." (Seifer)  
  
"Yeah, we're all bored." (Quistis)  
  
"And there's nothing we can do about it." (Rinoa)  
  
"........" (Guess who)  
  
"WAIT! I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO!!!" screamed Selphie. "Let's play team charades!" Everyone looks at each other and shrugs.  
  
"Okay." Everyone replies.  
  
"YAY! Okay, we need even teams so one of the boys can write down what we have to do, put them in a bowl, we pick one out, give it to the judge, we act it out, and he judges whether it's good enough, and then the other team guesses." Selphie said very fast. By now everyone's heads were swimming.  
  
"I'll be the judge!" said Irvine quickly.  
  
"Lucky bast-." Seifer started to say before Selphie pushed him towards Zell and Squall.  
  
"BOYS AGAINST GIRLS!!!" Selphie screeched. "Boys will go first. Irvine, write out what they have to do."  
  
"Okay, I've already got it ready!" Irvine said handing a slip of paper to the boys.  
  
"Forget it." Squall said after reading the slip.  
  
"Too bad. You have to!" replied Irvine with a look of evil in his eyes. "Come on, you'll rehearse and put on your costumes in our room." Irvine leads them away. The girls start talking about what the boys have to do. They hear some scuffling coming from the boys' room, but after a few shots, everything calms down. Then they come out. They're dressed in red sequin dresses, 3 feet blonde pompadours, and Squall has a tambourine.  
  
"Is she coming 'round the bend?" asked Seifer while Squall is banging the tambourine on his right hip.  
  
"Oh no, she's not." Said Zell.  
  
"Is she comin' 'round the corner?" asked Seifer.  
  
"Oh please, just stop." Replied Zell.  
  
"Well then, where is she comin'?" asked Seifer. Music blasts from the stereo.  
  
"She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes. She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes. She'll be comin' round the mountain, she'll be comin round the mountain, she'll be comin round the mountain when she comes!" The boys sang.  
  
"OH I KNOW!!!" screamed Selphie. "You're Moose, Pepperann, and their mom from one of the episodes of 'Pepperann!'"  
  
"YUP!" said Irvine. "Now it's your turn. Here you go." He said handing them a slip of paper.  
  
"Oh, this is easy!" Rinoa said. "We don't even need to rehearse this."  
  
"Okay, here we go." Quistis said.  
  
"WEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Selphie screeched while punching and doing flips. Quistis walks up.  
  
"Heychicken- wuss,watchmeI'msogreatwithmyhyperionoheylookherecomespubertyboyhuhuhIgavehim thatscar!!!" Rinoa walks up.  
  
"WhateverWhateverWhateverWhateverWhateverWhateverWhateverWhatever."  
  
"You're me, Seifer, and Squall on sugar highs!!!" Zell yelled.  
  
"Darn." Selphie said disappointidly.  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
"This is getting kinda boring." Seifer said.  
  
"Oh, you're just mad because you couldn't figure out how to act out me on a sugar high!" Selphie said.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Oh well, I'm tired anyway." Rinoa said getting up and stretching.  
  
"Same here..." everyone else replied.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
*does Zell's victory dance* YAY!!! I REACHED MY GOAL OF 50 REVIEWS!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS TO DEATH!!!!! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!!!! *realizes everyone is now freaked out* Okay, anyway thank you soooooooo much!!! Guess what though..I'm half way through the fic..Anyway, a thanks to my current reviewers.  
  
Jessica: Yeah, but the reason I called it Big Brother was because they had to be locked up together for awhile. Plus, the only other title I could think of was "Survival of the Weirdest." Thanks for your review anyway.  
  
TsukiMegami: Oh I know! I learned that song last summer at camp.  
  
taralockheart04: Thanks!!! You are now my official flame bodyguard!!! LOL! Luckily, I've only gotten one bad review but they didn't tell me what I did wrong..Eh, whatever. Thanks for your review!!!  
  
CheriChicola: I already have an idea for the "Ring" thing in the upcoming chapters. But thanks for the idea anyway.  
  
Choco-gal: LOL! I don't mind if you sing the song..my friends were about to kill me and my other friend cause we kept singing it...  
  
Someone you know thats 2 lazy to sign in!!!!!!!!!!!!! : Garrrrr..WHO ARE YOU!!!! Thanks for the review..but do I know you personally or are you one of my reviewers?  
  
inoaheartilly: Hehe!!! *tries to pose but falls over* Thanks!!!  
  
MonkeyHood: Thanks for spelling it for me.  
  
water-lily43: Believe me, that song is soooooo annoying! You should hear the tune of it!!!  
  
Keda (DeathsPassion@Hotmail.com) : Thank you for your review but I would like to know why I should stop writing.  
  
Hanh: I love that song too...WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!! LOL!!  
  
shinji the good sharer: Hehe! When I fist sang that to my friends, I thought they would do the same thing!!! LOL!!  
  
shinimegami: I'm glad you like it!!!! ^_^!!!! 


	10. The Eighth Day

Author's Notes: Wow..it's been awhile hasn't it? I've got plenty of excuses too! Camp and writer's block mainly...that and I've been lazy..Anyway, here's the long awaited chapter: Truth or Dare....MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Day 8  
  
The next day, Selphie was gagged and tied to a chair because she had tried to sing another camp song. Even Irvine helped. Anyway, Selphie hadn't had her chocolate and so she was sleepy. Once she fell asleep, Seifer came up with an idea.  
  
"How about we hide the chocolate so that we have some peace and quiet?"  
  
Everyone looked at each other and agreed to do so. Zell volunteered to hide it. As Zell came back from hiding it, Selphie woke up and they untied her. She immediately went to the cabinet to get, of course, chocolate. When she couldn't find any, she turned around very slowly. Everyone stepped back because they saw they her eyes had become red and she had grown fangs.  
  
"WHERE IS MY CHOCOLATE!?" she yelled in a demonic voice. Everyone looked at Zell with a scared look in their eyes.  
  
"I-I can't remember." Zell said on the verge of tears. Selphie ran out of the room in her search for the chocolate. She tore open cusions and broke glasses. She threw clothes out everywhere and for some strange reason, sprayed water on everyone. ((Gar, the curse of writer's block.)) Everyone looked at Zell with murder in their eyes. Irvine loaded his shotgun, Squall and Seifer took out their gunblades, Quistis took out her whip, and Rinoa sprouted wings that were black instead of white. Zell gulped and decided there was nothing he could do but fight it out. He got into his ready stance. Squall came up to him with his Lionheart raised when suddenly they heard a yell.  
  
"FOUND IT!" screamed Selphie who was now back to normal.  
  
"Where'd you find it?" Quistis asked.  
  
"That little tank thing behind the toilet."  
  
"You mean the thing that had the rubber and metal stuff in it and when you flush the toilet, water flows?" Quistis asked again.  
  
"YUP!"  
  
Everyone then turned quite green.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
"I'm sooo bored!" Selphie screeched.  
  
"Me too." Rinoa said.  
  
"Haven't we had this conversation before?" Squall asked.  
  
"Yeah it's starting to get really boring." Zell said.  
  
"AGGGGGGGGGG!!!" everyone yelled. They sat there, bored. They played every board game they had, again. They would have watched TV but Selphie had busted it through when trying to look for the damn chocolate. Squall was now trying to fix it. He fixed it about an hour later. Everyone cheered. They turned it on..static. Next channel: the colorful lines saying that the station is experiencing technical difficulties. Next channel: dead air. AGGGGGGGGGGG!!!" everyone yelled.  
  
"Well, I know what we *could* do." Rinoa said hesitantly.  
  
"What?" everyone asked.  
  
"Truth or Dare." She replied bluntly.  
  
"No way." Squall said indignantly. ((I used a big word!))  
  
"Aww come on Squall!" Selphie and Zell whined while Selphie put her arms around his neck and threw him to the floor. Zell started to kick him. "Come on Squall!" Seifer grinned and joined in on punching his face.  
  
"Yeah Squall, let's play!" Seifer sneered.  
  
"Stop it you guys!" Rinoa screamed.  
  
"Owwww.FINE! I'll play!" Squall said nursing his badly bruised arm.  
  
"YAY!!" Selphie, Zell, and Seifer said. They turned around to go to the couch but first Seifer came over and gave him one last punch in the face.  
  
"SEIFER!" Rinoa yelled.  
  
"Sowwy." Seifer said in a babyish voice. "I got's in twouble." he said to Quistis.  
  
"That's 'cause you huwt Squally." She replied. "Too baaaaaad!" ((Think of Ellone and Laguna talking at the beginning of disk 2.))  
  
"LEMME GO FIRST!" Selphie screeched. "Quisty, truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare." She said with a smirk on her face.  
  
"Okay, ummm.I dare you to French- kiss Seifer!"  
  
"Gladly." She replied and starting to make out with Seifer. They continued to make out. Selphie looked at her watch.  
  
"Okay, you can stop now...Hello?..GUYS!"  
  
Quistis and Seifer stopped suddenly.  
  
"It's your turn."  
  
"Okay. Seifer, truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare."  
  
"I dare you to make out with me." They did.  
  
"Garrr." Rinoa said. She looked at Squall, who nodded. Squall held out his hands and cast haste. They finally stopped thirty seconds later.  
  
"Okay, Seifer, you had best not dare Quistis." Irvine said, with his shotgun over his shoulder.  
  
"Fine." He said with a sigh. "Let's see.Zell, truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth."  
  
"What a Chicken-wuss.Okay, what is the Pig-tailed Library Girl's name?" Seifer asked.  
  
"She promised me not to tell anyone." Zell said while starting to squirm uncomfortably.  
  
"Tell me!" he said taking out his Hyperion.  
  
"Okay! I-it's..rhgghah" he muttered.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Josie."  
  
"Why would she be embarrassed by that name?" Rinoa asked.  
  
"Because at Galbadia Garden, where she used to go, people made fun of her by cat-calling her. You know, because of Josie and the Pussycats?"  
  
"Oh yeah." Rinoa said. Then she started to snicker.  
  
"Rinoa!" Zell said.  
  
"S-sorry." she laughed. But it is kinda funny.  
  
"Hyne, she's gonna kill me when she finds out I told ya'll." He said laying his head into the palms of his hands. Anyway, Squall, truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth."  
  
"Have you and Rinoa ever done it?"  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Squall said. Rinoa burst into tears.  
  
"I-it's j-just WHATEVER to you!? I thought what we had was special!" Rinoa yelled running into the bathroom.  
  
"Crap." Squall said running to the bathroom but finding it locked. "Come on Rinoa! I'm sorry! It was special!"  
  
"Leave me alone you big jerk!"  
  
"Is there anyway I can make it up to you?" Squall asked. Rinoa opened the door a little bit and stuck her head out.  
  
"Yeah, there is." She said. "Get in here." Squall went in and the rest of them heard moaning and stuff within the next five minutes.  
  
"I bet they're faking it." Seifer said. "I bet if we were to go in there, they would be standing up, fully clothed, and making noises to scare us."  
  
"I say we find out!" Selphie said.  
  
"Okay." Everyone agreed. They opened the bathroom door and looked in. Everyone's mouth dropped and Selphie covered her eyes.  
  
"MY VIRGIN EYES!" she yelled. Guess what folks? They weren't faking..  
  
"Okay, let's just get back to our game." Quistis said quickly.  
  
"Good idea." Everyone agreed. They closed the door to the oblivious Squall and Rinoa, leaving them to their *clears throat* business.  
  
"Okay, I'll go for Squall." Irvine said. "Selphie, truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare!"  
  
"I dare you to..eat brussel sprouts!"  
  
"NOOOOO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!"  
  
"Sorry, you have to."  
  
"Fine." Selphie said defeated. "Can I cover them with chocolate?"  
  
"No."  
  
Selphie sniffles and goes into the kitchen. Everyone follows her as she gets the brussle sprouts from the fridge. She takes one and puts it in her mouth. She chews it with a weird face and swallows.  
  
"Hmm.these are good!" Selphie asys taking the bag with her back in the living room.  
  
"Uh-oh.." Irvine says.  
  
"Well, at least they're healthy." Quistis said. ************************************************************************  
  
That Night  
  
Squall and Rinoa were sitting on the couch and everyone was staring awkwardly at them.  
  
"Why are you looking at us like that?" Rinoa asked.  
  
"N-no reason." Zell said quickly. Rinoa and Squall looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.  
  
"GUYS LOOK!" Quistis exclaimed. "Look what's on! 'Friends'!"  
  
"Are you serious?" Rinoa asked.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"FINALLY! A GOOD SHOW!" Squall yelled. Everyone looks at him in surprise. "What? My emotions escaped me, for once."  
  
They turned around and watched 'Friends' and laughed when Joey said that they liked the trifle. ((It's the Thanksgiving episode where Racheal makes half a shepherds pie and half an English trifle.)) They actually had a good night. They went to bed and so ended the eighth day.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
That one was a tad longer. Guess what? I've decided to make a series where they do twisted version of the reality shows. When this one is over, which one would you like me to do? Survivor, FF8 Funniest Home Movies ((I know it ain't a reality show but it would still be funny.)), Temptation Island, or Married By Fanfiction? Vote now when you send in reviews! Speaking of reviews, here's a thanks to my currents.  
  
mèèèèèèè - I'm sorry, I had a bad case of writer's block.  
  
ChaosKittyn- LOL. Everyone who likes Kingdom Hearts should go read ChaosKittyn's fanfic: Thicker Than Blood. It's good. Make sure to send in a review to her!  
  
shayne- I'm glad that you got a good first impression off of it. Hope you enjoy!  
  
glasirt- They are a good yaoi couple but I don't write yaois, I just read 'em. Sorry. But thanks for the idea!  
  
eddieteddy - Sorry for the long update! I love Kirby!  
  
mariana-chan- Thanks for your review!  
  
lifebringzdeath- Yeah, I know..it's gonna take awhile.I'm glad you like it!  
  
me me me me me! - There's was a lot of snuggling in this chappy! Hehe.  
  
anime-diva- Me love humors too!  
  
water-lily43- I may do that.Thanks for the idea!!!  
  
Seifer's Incarnate - Yeah I do..I love that story of King Solomon!  
  
Rinoa's Best Friend- I'm glad that ya'll recognized that as King Solomon. I had to put that in! Thanks for the review!  
  
RandomPerson - Hehe, I'm glad ya like it!  
  
Kari Kamiya- Thank you!  
  
Savanah Bakura- I absolutely love that song! It's fun to annoy people with!  
  
Moirae- I thought it would be a good touch. Everyone else seemed to like it so yeah..Thanks for the review!  
  
taralockheart04 - Yay! I've gots a bodyguard! Thanks for another review! From now on, flamers will be beaten up by taralockheart04!!!  
  
Lord Agamus - I'm glad you like the idea of truth or dare and I'm glad you like the fic!  
  
Hanh- You're welcome! I do hope you continue!  
  
shinji the good sharer - LOTS OF IDEAS!!! Thank you! I didn't think this fic would be doing this good!  
  
THANKS TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS! EVEN THE FLAMERS!!! 


	11. The Ninth Day

DISCLAIMER: I don't own it but I'm about to write to Squaresoft and ask them for a bunch of cardboard cutouts of the characters!!! Actually, my birthday is coming up so maybe...*hint hint* ^_^ Also, I don't own any songs I used in this chapter!  
  
A/N: I'm just going to write this as I go along because I'm completely out of ideas. :(  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Day 9  
  
"LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAA!" Selphie sang as she entered the kitchen on that beautiful morning. Only, no one knew it was a beautiful day because they were cooped up inside a room with no windows and ratty furniture.  
  
"Shut up Selphie." Rinoa said irritably. "I'm not in the mood today."  
  
"Hmph!" Selphie pouted as she got, of course, chocolate from the cabinet. As she was eating it, Seifer came into the room with his shirt off. ((All Seifer fans now have permission to drool.)) He went to the fridge and got some leftover stew from the night before and sat down to eat.  
  
"You're going to eat that for breakfast?" Zell asked with a disgusted look on his face.  
  
"Yeah what's it to you?" Seifer said taking a huge spoonful and eating it. He turned green and spit it back into the bowl.  
  
"Mainly because it started to mold." Zell said. Seifer looked closer and realized that there was some mold.  
  
"Hyne, wish I knew that EARLIER!" he said looking at Zell.  
  
"Well soooooorry!"  
  
"Chicken-wuss."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"So now you're copying Squall?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Sounds like it."  
  
"Shut up you two!" Rinoa yelled setting out cereal and fruit. Seifer got up from the table.  
  
"I lost my appetite looking at Zell's face anyway." Seifer muttered.  
  
"I HEARD THAT!" Zell yelled.  
  
"I meant for you to!"  
  
"DIE!" Zell screamed lunging for Seifer. They got into YET ANOTHER fist fight before Rinoa could stop them. Selphie and Rinoa looked at each other and shook their heads. Quistis came in and, oblivious to the fight, tripped right over them and landing into the moldy stew.  
  
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" she screamed picking carrots and peas out of her hair. "Geez you guys! Will you stop?"  
  
When Seifer heard Quistis, he threw Zell off of him and stood next to her. "I'm sorry Quistis." he said lovingly. Zell was still dazed from when flying into the counter.  
  
"What's going on in here?" Irvine asked. "Hey little lady." he said tipping his hat to Selphie. She giggled.  
  
"Where's Squall?" Quistis asked. "He's usually up by now."  
  
"Heheh..." Seifer laughed nervously.  
  
"Seifer," Rinoa said trying to stay calm, "what did you do?"  
  
"Umm...I put some sleeping gas up to his nose and mouth and he breathed it in." he answered trying to sound innocent.  
  
"Why?" Rinoa asked, her irritation starting to show.  
  
"Ummmmmmm........"  
  
"I'll ask one more time. WHY!?" Rinoa asked while holding up a picture of Seifer with a serious acne problem.  
  
"T-to make him have an "x" on his head." he replied afraid.  
  
"Huh?" everyone asked, now very confused. They went into the guy's bedroom and looked at Squall. He had a cut in an opposite diagonal line, crossing his old scar, making it look like he had a "x" on his head. Rinoa took one look and screamed as loud as she could.  
  
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?" she yelled at Seifer. Seifer looked at the floor sheepishly.  
  
"Can't you fix it though?" he asked.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Oops...."  
  
"NOW MY BOYFRIEND LOOKS LIKE HE'S A FRIKIN' MORON!"  
  
Squall opened his eyes. "Geez Rinoa! It was a joke! See!" he said rubbing the paint off of his head. Seifer looked furious.  
  
"Great going, Puberty Boy! You were supposed to keep that a secret for the rest of the day!" Seifer said smacking Squall upside the head. Squall got a look of murder in his eyes as he pulled out his Lionheart. He stood in battle stance, as did Seifer with his Hyperion. Everyone else backed out slowly and let them have at it. For the next twenty minutes, they all heard blades crashing against each other. Then they heard a crash and the sound of wood cracking.  
  
"There goes one of the bunkbeds..." Irvine said with a sigh. He loaded his shotgun with a blank and put it over his shoulder. He tipped his hat down in the front and said, "Guess it's time for this to end."  
  
"Be careful Irvine!" Selphie cried lunging at him around the ankle.  
  
"I'll try." he said in a 'heroic' voice. Everyone sighed and shook their heads. Irvine went into the guy's room and shut the door. They heard the gun go off and he came back with a very pale face. "What?" Quistis and Rinoa asked nervously.  
  
"M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-my.." he stuttered, tears starting to run down his face.  
  
"WHAT!?" Selphie screeched. She walked up to the door and kicked it in. She walked into the room to find both bunkbeds reduced to splinters and..the shrine she made Irvine full of pictures torn to shreds. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" she screamed as she ran past Squall and Seifer, who were completely oblivious to her. She held up the remainders of it and started to cry. She suddenly stopped and looked at the two with anger. She pulled out her nunchakas and hit each of them on the head, knocking them unconscious for the next five hours. During that five hours, Irvine comforted Selphie, Quistis fumed, Selphie cried, Zell was still dazed, and Rinoa just sat down on the couch and did nothing. Five hours later, Squall and Seifer woke up. They walked out of the bedroom.  
  
"Who am I?" Squall asked, rubbing his head. Seifer stared at him in  
shock.  
  
"You don't know who you are?" Rinoa asked on the verge of tears.  
  
"Noooo." Squall replied with a look of confusion on his face. Irvine  
grinned evilly and looked at Zell. Zell had the same look on his face.  
Rinoa ran into the bathroom crying, while everyone else gawked at Squall.  
Seifer still had a look of shock on his face. When Rinoa was in the  
bathroom, Seifer grinned and tried to keep from laughing.  
  
"I think she believed us!" Seifer said happily.  
  
"Why did I agree to do this?" Squall asked.  
  
"Because of all the money you'll get if you keep it a secret for the next  
three days."  
  
"....Whatever..."  
  
"Hey Squall. What you need to do is pretend that me and Irvine  
influenced you to act like us!" Zell said.  
  
"....Fine..."  
  
Rinoa walked out of the bathroom. "Squall? Do you remember anything?"  
  
"Who's Squall?" Zell asked. "His name is Zivine!"  
  
"It is?" Squall asked. He shrugs his shoulders. "Okay."  
  
Rinoa looks at Zell and Irvine evilly. "His name is not Zivine!"  
  
"Yes it is." Quistis and Selphie say with a smirk on their face.  
  
"Yeah. Duh Rinoa, how could you say his name is Squall? I mean, what  
kind of name is 'Squall'?" Seifer replied with a smirk similer to the  
girls'. Rinoa stomped off into her room. Squall looked at them all  
evilly.  
  
"Are you saying my name is stupid?"  
  
"Yes." They all replied.  
  
**************************************************************************  
*  
Later that Day  
  
"I'm bored." Selphie said.  
  
"Let's not start this conversation again." Seifer replied. He wouldn't  
admit he was bored too.  
  
"What should we do then?" Rinoa asked.  
  
"What do you usually do?" asked 'Zidane' (Squall)  
  
"We usually come up with something.." Quistis said, leaning her head on  
Seifer's shoulder. He started to stroke her hair. Selphie was sitting  
in Irvine's lap, and took his cowboy hat and put it on her head.  
  
"Heehee! I'm Cowgirl Selphie!" Selphie said. Irvine smiled sweetly and  
hugged her. ((AWWWWW!)) Zell was minding his own business while shadow-  
boxing. Rinoa looked at Squall sadly. She scooted next to him. Squall  
looked at her. He knew he couldn't he keep this up anymore. He was  
hurting his angel. All for money, which he already had. He put his arms  
around Rinoa. Rinoa looked up at him and smiled. She pulled him down  
and kissed him.  
  
"AWWWWWWWWWW!" everyone except Seifer cooed. Seifer narrowed his eyes  
and turned his head away. Quistis pulled Seifer down to her level and  
kissed him while Selphie did the same to Irvine. Zell stopped shadow-  
boxing.  
  
"Well, I feel left out." Zell said. All the girls stopped kissing their  
boyfriends and made a mad dash for Zell.  
  
"Awww Zelly! You know we love you!" the girls said tackling him to the  
ground and hugging him. Zell looked at the guys, who were in complete  
shock, and smiled.  
  
"Hey Selphie?" Irvine said with his puppy-dog face.  
  
"Oops! Sorry Irvy!" Selphie said, getting up and tackling him to the  
ground next to Zell.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!! HELP ME!" Irvine yelled teasingly as the girls starting to  
hug him tightly as with Zell. Zell was all smiles. Seifer and Squall  
looked at each other with wide eyes. They were scared. They decided to  
go to bed early.  
*********************************************************************  
  
Yay! Another one done! I know this one was kinda short but.ya know.  
Oh, I might go against my word and start writing yaois. I know who I  
want paired up. But anyway, enough ranting. Thanks to all of my  
reviewers!!  
  
Choco-gal- You're welcome! I will read it, once I find out more about  
the characters. I've never played the game before. I know most of the  
names but not the personalities. ( I'll definitely read it!! ^_^  
  
water-lily43- Seifer is just too cute in a baby voice! ^_^ My sister  
gave me that idea!  
  
mary- I was thinking about actually doing that but I thought it would be  
good if they all had to put up with the same peoples everyday. I'm glad  
you like it! ^_^  
  
ChaosKittyn- Mwahahahahahaha..*evil grin* Expect more..EVERYONE MUST GO  
READ CHAOSKITTYN'S FICS!!!!  
  
Someone you know thats 2 lazy 2 sign in!!!!! - OMG! I'm sorry! The  
computer shut off by itself when I was writing the last chappy and I  
didn't save.I had forgotten it shut off when I put you in there.  
Sowwy!!!! Anyway, here's my five guesses: TheBlackRaveness,  
Inoaheartilly, ChaosKittyn, Savanah Bakura, and Micheal Kenny. PLEASE  
TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!  
  
shinimegami- Believe me, I'm trying! ^_^ Thanks for the review!  
  
inoaheartilly- I like that episode too! I'll try and put them in more in  
the next chappy! Maybe even a dedication to them..  
  
Angel Of Fantasies and FFX26- I never thought of having Selphie eating  
brussel sprouts until after I wrote it!  
  
Spincut- YOU'RE ALREADY IN SCHOOL!? Geez! Do you go to an all year  
around school? I'm really glad you like it! 


	12. The Tenth Day

Disclaimer: *peers cautiously around* *whispers* I own it. *runs as Squaresoft comes after her with pitchforks*  
  
A/N: OMG! It's an update! *faints* Sorry everyone for the long update!!! My computer crashed and my dad FINALLY let me go on ff.net on his computer so...yeah. Thanks to my reviewers! There's a lot this time 'cause of the long wait.  
  
Zells-babe: Hehe..so do I. I'm writing I'm writing!  
  
shinji the good sharer: I might use that idea but I actually have a few for once. YAY!!!  
  
Keiry: Heehee..I don't mind about Kiri. I'm not going to do yaois so don't worry. I might hint at it in some but that's it.  
  
water-lily43: Zell's my fave too. Poor Zelly. ( I'll try to keep it funny.  
  
Billie the Wild Angel: I would but they don't get to come out of the dorm for another 6 days. Good idea though!  
  
Tennyo Aeris: I'm sooooo glad you like it!  
  
Angel-Kinneas4: Thanks for the compliment! I seriously did not think people would like this! Thanks!  
  
Inoaheartilly: He didn't go through with all 3 days. He like.kinda.told Rinoa silently that he didn't have amnesia by hugging her. Just thought to point that out. Thanks for the review!  
  
chococat2: Don't worry! I will! ^_^  
  
MiNi SoRcErEsS: I feel sorry for Spincut too! I bet I could make Zell happier than you could!!!! Heeehhee. JJ.  
  
Moirae4: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! A POSITIVE REVIEW FROM MOIRAE! THE WORLD'S GONNA END!!! Hehe.Just kidding. You always like to smirk!  
  
Thugstra: Glad ya like it! Quifers are good!  
  
Mogmatt: Haha! I hope not! Zujin's are pretty good! I might make a fic about that later when I'm done with all my other's!  
  
Sailorsushi: Heehee! Even I'm surprised and I wrote it!  
  
Emerald: So do I! Believe me! My future fics are gonna be all about a Zell couple! One's gonna be Zell/ OC, and another will be Zell/ Quistis, and I'd like to make either a Zinoa or Zelphie.  
  
taralockheart04: Yeah, I've been busy w/ band too. What instrument do you play? Me play trumpet!  
  
Xshivax: YAY!! THANK YOU FOR PUTTING ME ON YOUR FAVE LIST!!!  
  
Spincut: Ohhhhhhh I get it now!  
  
amy ly: *cowers* O-ok!!  
  
Sam Felton: Heehee! That's funny! I'll have to keep that in mind when I get a b-friend!  
  
Yori Kiri: Lol! I love your ideas. I'll probably use them! Thanks for your many reviews!!  
  
NOW ON TO DAY 10!!!  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Day 10  
  
"Poor Irvy." Selphie whimpered.  
  
She held up the torn bits if the Selphie/ Irvine shrine she made and began to tape them back together. Everyone was still asleep except Selphie. It was Irvine's birthday and Selphie wanted to make it special since he had such a bad day the day before. She held up her "masterpiece".  
  
"There! This should make him feel better."  
  
She went into the kitchen and checked on the cake that was in the oven. She decided to actually follow the recipe this time and it was turning out nicely. She took it out and tested the middle with a toothpick to make sure it was done.  
  
"Hmm..a couple more minutes should do it." She set the timer for two more minutes and went to wrap up the gifts she and her friends had given him. She surveyed the gifts that were laying on the couch.  
  
A book about guns from Quistis. "Always books." Selphie giggled remembering the book on the history of chocolate she got from Quistis the year before.  
  
Socks from Squall. "Always practical." Selphie rolled her eyes. "At least he made them interesting." She said to herself eyeing the socks with cowboy boots sewn into them.  
  
Fire bullets from Zell. Gun polish from Rinoa. A gift certificate from Seifer to "Guns 'n Thangs." Selphie smiled as she started to wrap her gift for him. The timer went off and she went to get the cake.  
  
"Yum!" she exclaimed as she set it down on a cooling rack. She looked at the clock and saw that it was 7:30. She knew the guys would probably be sleeping in since they spent almost all night trying to rebuild the bunkbeds and the other girls were still asleep because one of the guys' bunkbeds collapsed and it woke them up. An hour later she was done wrapping the gifts and she went off to ice the cake.  
  
Meanwhile, Squall, Rinoa, Seifer, Quistis, and Zell were talking in the girls' room.  
  
"Okay, I've noticed that Irvine and Selphie haven't been talking as much as they used to, so after the party, we need to ambush them and lock them in that big closet next to the kitchen." Rinoa said quickly.  
  
"Umm.okay? And what will this do?" Seifer asked.  
  
"Squall, tell Seifer that this will make Irvine and Selphie talk more." Rinoa replied. She wasn't talking to Seifer because of the joke he played on her the day before. Squall was just going along with it for the time being.  
  
"Seifer, Rinoa says that this will make Irvine and Selphie tal-.." He was cut off.  
  
"I HEARD HER!"  
  
"OKAY!"  
  
"FINE THEN!"  
  
"WHATEVER!"  
  
".........."  
  
"So how are we going to get them in the closet?" Quistis asked.  
  
"Well, I'm going to say that I accidentally left one of Irvine's gifts in the closet. Then, I'll push Irvine into Selphie as she's looking for it, knocking them both in there. After that, we'll all hold down the door and lock it, leaving them in there for the rest of the day." Rinoa said quickly.  
  
"My head hurts." Zell said dizzily.  
  
"Mine too." Quistis concurred, rubbing her temples.  
  
"Okay! Let's go out and, as Selphie would say, PAH-TAY!" Rinoa yelled. They walked out.  
  
"Hi! Where's Irvine?" Selphie asked as they entered the kitchen.  
  
"He's in the shower." Squall replied.  
  
"Oh. How's the cake look?"  
  
"Wow Selphie! That look's great!" Zell said. The cake was in the shape of a cowboy hat. Selphie had done a good job icing the cake. It even looked as if she had put stitching in it but if you look closely, you saw that it was chocolate frosting.  
  
Irvine came out of the shower a few minutes later, his hair dripping, towel around his waist, and his cowboy hat on.  
  
"Do you ever take that thing off?" Quistis asked, pointing to his hat.  
  
"Nah, I'm too attached to it." He said, giving it a pat. Quistis rolled her eyes and went to get breakfast ready.  
  
***  
  
Around two o'clock, Selphie figured it would be a good time for the party. She took out the gifts and brought out the cake. But, she tripped over the coffee table and the cake fell out of her hands and onto Rinoa. Rinoa was in shock and Selphie's lip started to tremble. Irvine, seeing this, tried to make Selphie feel better.  
  
"It's okay Selph! Look, the cake is still good." He took a chunk off of Rinoa and ate it. "Yuummmmm.See? It's not ruined." Selphie smiled.  
  
"Thanks Irvy!!" she said jumping on top of him. Irvine let out a strangled yell and fell backwards onto a cake-covered Rinoa. She yelped and jumped out from under him, spilling cake on the floor. Quistis decided to try and clean up but she slipped on the icing and fell in Squall's lap, who was asleep until this point, and jumped up, tripped, and fell on top of Zell. Seifer, meanwhile, was laughing his arse off.  
  
"SELPHIE!" Everyone but Irvine screamed.  
  
"Oops." Selphie said, looking at the mess.  
  
***  
  
"Don't you think it's so much more peaceful in here?" Rinoa asked.  
  
"Oh yeah, I agree. Especially since Irvine and Selphie stopped pounding on the door." Zell said.  
  
"HAVE THEY REALLY STOPPED?" Quistis yelled.  
  
"YES!!!" everyone yelled.  
  
"Good." Quistis took the cotton balls out of her ears.  
  
"Why did they stop banging on the door?" Squall asked.  
  
"Who cares?" Seifer replied. Rinoa rolled her eyes again.  
  
"Probably just gave up." Zell said.  
  
"I'm going to go check up on them." Quistis said. She walked over to the closet and opened it quietly. Her eyes got really wide and she quickly shut the door.  
  
"Lemme guess. They're making out." Zell said.  
  
"Of course." Quistis said. "I left the door unlocked so that they can get out if they want to."  
  
"Fine." Everyone said. They all went to bed, exhausted from the day's events.  
  
***  
  
"You think they unlocked the door?" Selphie asked.  
  
"Doubt it. I'm not even going to try." Irvine answered, trying to make a bed out of some moth-eaten coats.  
  
"I'm to tired to go and check." Selphie laughed. "How much you wanna bet that they did unlock the door and we're to lazy to check?"  
  
"Haha! Good one Selphie! They probably won't let us out 'til morning. I'm going to bed."  
  
"Night Irvy."  
  
"Night Selphie."  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Sorry this chapter was so short.I have no ideas what-so-ever. Hopefully I'll finish this soon though. Bye! 


	13. The Eleventh Day

Disclaimer: Let's see, if I owned it: Quistis and Zell would be the main characters, Rinoa would die, Squall would not care about Rinoa, Irvine would get raped, and Selphie would more than likely try to kill Irvine throughout the game...and Seifer would be gay. Oh yeah, I don't own Pokemon either...  
  
Verdanni: Woohoo! Lotsa reviews! I love da Seiftis too! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Ashley ( pyros_gal ): Heehee. I know what you're saying. Seiftis aren't my favorite pairings but I still loves em! I like Quells better...  
  
MiNi SoRcErEsS: *narrows eyes* Grrr....haha! Just joking! *takes five pills* Let's hope they work!  
  
U F P: Haha. No problem. My friends think I'm nuts for liking Zell too. I don't think I could think up enough stuff to do two months. Otherwise I would have.  
  
DClick: That happens to me too. Especially when I promise to review every chapter and next time I check, there's 25 new chapters. It gave me a headache trying to think up all of them.  
  
chococat2: Haha! No problem. I'll try and make it longer this time. I promise!  
  
GalWivAGunblade: *cheesy smile* Thanks!  
  
shinji the good sharer: Okiday! I'll definitely read it!  
  
Spincut: *lip trembles* I'M SORRY!!!! Haha. Thank you so much! This should be better than last chapter, don't worry.  
  
Anonymous: BOOYAKA!  
  
DBZ Fanfiction Queen: That's fine by me. I'm not the first one to make an FF8 "Big Brother."  
  
thugstra: Now I want cake....  
  
Yori Kiri: Yup! You do. Yeah, I ended up sneaking onto my dad's computer to write this chappy.  
  
A/N: Can it be? It's an update! THIS IS NOT A TEST THIS IS NOT A TEST! I actually have ideas! Thanks to those pills....  
  
*****************************************  
  
Day 11  
  
Everyone woke up to another dumb day in the dumb three rooms that were assigned by Dumbmaster Cid. Nobody was happy. Selphie and Irvine were not happy to have slept in a closet all night. Seifer wasn't happy because Quistis didn't put out the night before. Rinoa wasn't happy because Seifer kept trying to persuade Quistis to put out last night and he was really loud. Zell wasn't happy because there were no hotdogs left. And Squall wasn't happy because he just likes to piss people off. Well, as usual, Selphie didn't stay mad for long and she tried to make everyone happy again. Joy....  
  
"Oh come on guys! It's a brand new day! Be happy!" Selphie said to the moping group in front of her. Everyone glares at her. She sighs with defeat and goes into the girls' room. She comes back a few seconds later with a huge binder. She opens it and Pokemon cards fall out everywhere. Zell's eyes go extremely wide.  
  
"P-P-Pokemon...." Zell begins to drool. "I-I-I love Pokemon..."  
  
Selphie smiles and pats the area in front of her. Zell slowly gets up and plops himself down in front of Selphie. She shuffles the cards and deals out fifty to each of them. They proceed to play, not knowing the weird looks they're getting from everyone else.  
  
"I choose you, Pikachu!" Zell screams, slapping a Pikachu card down in front of him. Selphie narrows her eyes and then gets an evil look.  
  
"I choose you, Geodude!" she screams.  
  
"DAMMIT! NO!!! Pikachu, Body Slam!"  
  
"Haha! Only ten HP! Geodude, Rockslide!" ((A/N: I don't know if this is an attack or not, I'm just guessing.))  
  
Zell begins to cry as he puts the Pikachu card into his discard pile.  
  
"He was so young, so carefree. Why did he have to go!?"  
  
Selphie pities the crying blonde. She pats his shoulder. "It was for the best Zell." She says quietly. By now, the game has caught Rinoa's and Seifer's interest.  
  
"I play winner!" Seifer yells. Rinoa looks at him.  
  
"Then I play loser!" she sticks her tongue at him. "Booyaka!"  
  
"That's my line bitch!" Selphie yells. They get into a catfight.  
  
Seifer and Zell look at each other and shrug. They start a new game and start to play. Quistis is trying to separate the two screaming girls but it doesn't work. Finally, Quistis grabs one of the cards, a holographic Mew.  
  
"I'll do it Selphie!" Quistis screams, holding the card by both ends. Selphie suddenly stops.  
  
"You wouldn't..." Selphie says evilly.  
  
"Oh, I would." She proceeds to bend the card.  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!" Zell, Selphie, Rinoa, and Seifer yell, getting up and tackling Quistis to the ground, the card flying out of her hand. It floats to the kitchen and lands in the food processor, when a freak power outage turns it on, grinding the card into tiny bits. The four Pokemaniacs' jaws drop. Rinoa, Seifer, and Zell begin to cry but Selphie laughs.  
  
"I-It's not funny!" Zell cries.  
  
"Sure it is!" Selphie says.  
  
"How!?" Seifer demands.  
  
"Because I have five others!" Everyone sweatdrops. Squall, who hasn't said anything, palmfaces.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Quistis finally decided to play Pokemon with the rest of the gang, excluding Squall. Selphie had lost against Rinoa so now she was trying persuade Squall to play.  
  
"Come on Squally! It's soooo much fun!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Whatever..." Squall said monotoneslly. ((My brand new word! ^_^))  
  
Selphie started to pout and then got an idea. She went into her bedroom and got a watch that was on a gold chain. She came back out and sat in front of Squall. She started swinging the watch back and forth, trying to hypnotize him. Squall just rolled his eyes and ignored her. But after awhile, he couldn't help but watch the watch swinging, swinging, swinging. He stared intently.  
  
"You will play Pokemon, won't you Squall?" Selphie said mysteriously. Squall nodded his head. Selphie smiled an evil smile and decided to have some fun. "Now Squall, in ten seconds you will start to act like a Chocobo..." Ten seconds later he 'warking' and running around the room, flapping his arms as if they were wings. Seifer looked up and decided to have some fun too. He took the watch from Selphie.  
  
"Squall, when I snap my fingers you will have sex with Zell." Seifer said. Zell's head snapped up. Rinoa's jaw dropped.  
  
"No he will not!" they both yelled. Seifer smirked at Zell and Rinoa and put his middle finger and thumb together. Zell and Rinoa flew at Seifer and tackled him to the ground. Selphie started to pout. She snapped her fingers.  
  
"Darn, that would have been good too." She said, her head hanging. She looked up and saw Squall walking over to Zell, a seductive gleam in his eyes. She grabbed the watch from Seifer and said the first thing that came to her mind. "When I clap, you'll start saying 'Puu' a lot!" She clapped her hands. Squall stopped in his tracks, looked at Selphie quizzically, cocked his head to the side and muttered,  
  
"Puu?" Rinoa got off of Seifer.  
  
"Awww!" Rinoa cooed. "It's soooo cute! Leave him like that!"  
  
"Are you sure about that, Rinoa?" Quistis asked. Rinoa nodded her head.  
  
"Uh-huh! Just look at him!" Squall was walking around the room and saying "Puu" randomly.  
  
**************************************************  
  
A few hours later, Squall was still walking around the room saying "Puu." Seifer had plugged up his ears and Zell had been winning the Pokemon Tournament for seven straight games. Selphie was having to hold Quistis back from murdering Squall and Rinoa. Finally, Selphie told Rinoa that Squall had to be put back to normal. Rinoa sighed.  
  
"Oookay..."  
  
"Thank Hyne!" Quistis said. Selphie put the watch in front of Squall's eyes.  
  
"When I clap my hands you will go back to normal..." Selphie started, "butyouwillwanttoplayPokemonwithusandforeverhavearandomtendencytosayPuuevery nowandthen." She said quickly. Selphie clapped her hands and Squall finally snapped out of it. However, he sees the Pokemon cards.  
  
"Pokemon! I wanna play!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Yay!" Selphie said, pushing Zell out of the way and dealing Squall some cards.  
  
**************************************  
  
Two hours later, Squall was winning game after game. But now it was time to battle his rival. Zell. Zell sat down next to Squall and smiled. Squall glowered at him and dealed the cards.  
  
"I choose you, Scyther." Squall said seriously.  
  
"I choose you, Ninetales." Zell said just as seriously. Selphie flipped a coin.  
  
"Heads." Squall called. It was tales. Zell got to go first. The battle began with Zell using Firewall. Then Squall used Slash. The battle continued until they were both down to their last card. Sweat dripped off of Squall's forehead. "Raichu, thundershock!"  
  
"Dammit! Wheezing, smog!" Zell yelled.  
  
"Raichu, Thunderwave!" Wheezing became confused. Raichu had ten HP left, if the coin would just fall on heads, Zell would win. He tossed the coin, it flipped half a dozen times before landing on........heads.  
  
"YES!" Zell did his victory dance. Squall got up an, while Zell was turned around, Squall kicked him in the back of the knees. "Ow!"  
  
Satisfied, Squall went to bed, leaving Zell screaming in pain and everyone else asleep in random spots in the room.  
  
**************************************  
  
Tada! Yay! Done with another chapter. Took me long enough, ni? Drop a review on down please! 


	14. The Twelth Day

A/N: Please don't hurt me…I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating in like…a year maybe? High school is killer for me. Thank God for Spring Break. Okay…I will finish this fanfic! I promise! Thanks for the reviewers who have kept reviewing also. I love you all! huggles Also, the joke in this will be marked by italics.

Yori Kiri – Basically, it's an experiment to see if a certain amount of people can stand each other for two weeks locked up in one dorm. They get paid a lot of money at the end and they don't need to make up any work. Hope this clears everything up!

Billie The Kid – Updating! I'll do my best to keep that reputation.

DClick – Squall loves him some Pokemon. **nods** Yes.

freya84 – w00t! I'll definitely try.

Verdanii - Muchas gracias.

quisty65 – Yay! I'm original! I think…

Spincut – Thanks! I was trying to do a different writing style…definitely not meant for humor fics.

Hotdog Angelo – I'll try!

chococat2 - **huggles** Glad you're back!

TheRealAuron – Thanks! I'll try and read it after I'm done with this.

Leonhart Zero – Exactly. It just says "Selphie" all over it.

anonymous - …Ummm…Not in this fic. I'll think about it though in a different one.

shinji the good sharer – I'll go look at it. Sounds evil! W00t! Also…I'm using your idea for this chappy.

**Day Twelve**

Quistis yawns and opens her eyes.

"AHHHHHH! Everyone wake up!" she screams. Selphie, Irvine, Rinoa, Seifer, and Zell wake up groggily. Squall is still asleep, hugging his Pokemon cards to his chest. Every now and then you hear a random "I choose you!" coming from him but that's a whole other story.

"What's the big idea?" Seifer says, mid-yawn.

"Do none of you hear that?" she asks. Everyone gets really quiet and they hear a 'thump-thump' sound. It gets closer and closer. Rinoa hides under her blanket. Zell opens his mouth.

"It must be coming from that thingy where all the stuff comes out of it." He says. Everyone blinks. "You know! The thingy with the breeze flowing out of it?" Quistis sighs.

"The ventilation shaft." She says.

"Yeah!"

"Ohhhhh!" responds everyone else. They look up at the ventilation shaft nervously.

"What is it?" Rinoa asks from under the blanket.

"We don't frickin' know yet, Rinoa!" Seifer yells. Squall wakes up, realizes he's holding Pokemon cards, and stuffs them under the couch quickly.

"What's happening?" he asks.

"Something's in the venty-thing shaft." Zell whispers.

"Oh…what is it?"

"We don't know!" everyone screams. Suddenly, the ventilation shaft gives way and something green falls to the floor. Selphie starts to shriek happily.

"Aw! It's a Tonberry! Look! It has its lantern and everything, even its scary long knife!" she exclaims. Her face suddenly goes to a look of horror. Everyone looks at the Tonberry come closer and closer.

"Long knife? AHHHHHHHH!" Everyone runs into the guys' bedroom, locks the door, and lean up against it.

"Now what do we do?" Irvine asks.

"Yeah! I'm hungry!" Zells says.

"Is all you can ever think about food?" Seifer asks, exasperated. Zell cocks his head.

"Um…Ye-ah. Don't you?" Seifer palmfaces.

"Well, I say we send one person out at a time to try and kill it. If they die, we send out another person. That way, we get rid of the weakest. Darwin's theory of natural selection will prove its point." Squall says. Everyone just looks at him. Rinoa starts to cry. "What?" Squall asks her.

"B-b-but, everyone know I-I'm the w-w-w-w-weakest!" she blubbers.

"No, you're just the whiniest." Seifer says. "Chicken-wuss over here is the weakest."

"I am not! I'm strong!" Zell exclaims. He puffs out his chest a bit.

"Did your mommy tell you that?" Seifer asks with a sneer.

"………I hate you." Zell goes off to sit in a corner.

"Enough! We need to think of how we can get rid of this Tonberry without killing ourselves." Quistis says.

"I say we just grab a stick of wood from the floor and CHARGE!" Irvine yells. Everyone shrugs.

"Okay." Quistis says. Meanwhile Zell is looking at something with great interest.

"Hey guys?" he calls. Everyone is too busy trying to see which piece of wood is the biggest. "Guys?" He's still ignored. "GUYS!"

"Not now, Zell!" Quistis says impatiently. "Just grab a stick of wood!"

"But this is really important!"

"Not right now!"

"But-"

"Just grab the damn wood!"

"Fine…" Zell grabs a random piece of wood from the floor.

"Okay, on the count of three," Irvine starts, "one………..two…………two and a half………two and three quart-"

"Get on with it!" Everyone screams.

"Five!"

"It's supposed to be three!" Quistis says.

"My bad. Three!"

"CHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE!"

They run through the door, startling the Tonberry. He doesn't do anything. They all screech to a halt…literally. You can hear the screech a mile away and the carpet is smoking. The Tonberry looks at them with its big, big eyes. Selphie's face softens.

"Awwww…it's so CUTE!" she stoops down to pet it. He lets her. She suddenly picks him up. "I'm gonna hug him and squeeze him and call him George!"

"Why George?" Irvine asks.

"Because George is gonna let me tend the rabbits and we gonna live offa the fat of the land!" Selphie says in a stupid-like voice. Everyone sweat-drops. ((Sorry. Now that the John Steinbeck-ness is out of my system…))

Anyways, the Tonberry starts to panic and breaks loose from Selphies arms. His eyes go from big and cute to small and squinty. He takes a step towards the group. They take out their wooden sticks. Squall is the first to try and hit the Tonberry. A little "0" appears above its head. He takes another step forward. Next, Selphies goes up and whacks it like a piñata. Another "0" appears above his head. He takes yet another step forward.

This keeps going on until each person has given it several whacks. Finally, the Tonberry is right in front of the group. He raises the knife above his head and…………

BOOM! CRASH!

")&&&(#"

"HELP ME IRVY!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I WANT MY MOMMY!"

"WHATEVER!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"I'LL NEVER GET TO FEEL QUISTIS' HOT **censored** BIG **censored** GORGEOUS **censoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensored**!

"SHUT UP, SEIFER!"

Just as quickly as it had started ((which wasn't very quick)), it ended. They all lied in a heap on the floor. There were no injuries what-so-ever, just confusion. The Tonberry had just suffered a fatal heart attack and died…because the heart attack was fatal…and therefore he died. Everyone looked around and suddenly did their victory dance, although there was nothing to be victorious of because they didn't do crap.

Rinoa looked over the corpse of the dead Tonberry.

"What are we going to do with it?" she asks. They all look at each other.

"Well, we can't just leave it in here. It'll stink up the place." Seifer says.

"We could stuff it down the garbage disposal." Zell puts in.

"You mean you, right?" Seifer says, smirking. Zell narrows his eyes.

"Wait! That's an idea!" Selphie says.

"No way! I refuse to stuff that thing down my throat!"

"No silly! We could find a recipe and eat it!" Irvine scratches his head but first he takes off his hat. ((Because that wouldn't make any sense to scratch your head with the hat on. I mean, you wouldn't even be able to feel it! Oh Hyne…I think these things through too much.))

"Are there any recipes for Tonberry?" he asks.

"Well…no. Not exactly. But I'm sure it's just like cooking a meatloaf!" Selphie replies. Quistis bites her lip. She doesn't seem to anxious to find out.

"Who would cook it?" Rinoa asks.

"Not Selphie!" Seifer implies. Selphie narrows her eyes.

"I can cook! Right, Irvy?" Irvine looks at the ground. Selphie's lip trembles.

"O-of course you can!" he says with a forced smile. Luckily, Selphie sees past it.

"Yay! Then I'll start right now!" She grabs the corpse and skips off into the kitchen. Everyone proceeds to beat Irvine with the wooden sticks. Selphie notices but thinks that it's some sort of ritual of thanks.

"Okay, the cookbook says to shape the ground beef into a loaf-like shape and put it in a pan." Selphie looks at the Tonberry and sighs.

She begins to chop off the appendages and de-bone the Tonberry. She takes out all the squishy organs and tosses them into the real garbage disposal, not Zell, the fake garbage disposal. She gets out the grinder because they just happen to have one in that dorm. ((Total coincidence, I promise.)) She grinds it up and molds it into a loaf-like shape. She puts it in a pan.

"Let's see…the cookbook says to bake it at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for thirty minutes, take it out, put tomato sauce on the top, and bake it for another thirty."

She does just that. Aren't we so proud?

When the Tonberry is finally done, she takes it out of the kitchen and sets it on the table. Everyone eats and everyone is happy. Yay for happiness!

After dinner, everyone is bored yet again.

"Oh! I have a joke for y'all!" Rinoa says. "It's about pink ping-pong balls!" Everyone shrugs and decides to listen.

"_Okay. So there's this kid and he's about to have his fifth birthday. His parents ask him what he wants for his gift and the boy says,_

_'I want pink ping-pong balls.'"_

"Is the little boy gay?" Irvine asks.

"Nooooooo." Rinoa responds. "Anyways,

_The parents look at each other, shrug, and decide to get him the pink ping-pong balls. He gets the pink ping-pong balls, goes up the stairs, goes into his room, goes out the window, goes behind the house, and comes back into the living room without the pink ping-pong balls. His parents ask,_

_'What happened to the pink ping-pong balls?' He just shrugs his shoulders and walks off. His parents dismiss it because, you know, he's five. He probably threw them at a bird."_

"The poor birdie!" Selphie cries. Rinoa sighs.

_"Thirteen years later, he graduates from high school. His parents ask what he wants as a graduation present. He says,_

_'I want pink ping-pong balls.' His parents look at him._

_'Are you sure?' they ask._

_'Yes.'"_

"Are you sure this kid isn't gay?" Irvine asks.

"YES!" _So they buy him the pink ping-pong balls. He goes upstairs, goes into his room, goes out the window, goes behind the house, and comes back without the pink ping-pong balls. His parents ask,_

_'What happened to the pink ping-pong balls?' He shrugs his shoulders and walks off. His parents dismiss it yet again because he's a teenager and doesn't like to talk to his parents."_

"Well that's not nice!" Quistis puts in.

"Reminds me of Squall." Zell says. Rinoa narrows her eyes.

"Whatever," Squall replies, who's not really paying attention.

_"A couple of years later he's in college and is somehow able to get a girlfriend. It's Valentine's Day and his girlfriend asks,_

_'What do you want for Valentine's Day, Sweety?'_

_'I want pink ping-pong balls.'"_

"I'm telling you! This guy's a fag!" Irvine exclaims.

"Will you let me frickin' finish?" Irvine shuts up.

_"His girlfriend thinks to herself: Well, maybe he plays ping pong. Also, it's Valentine's Day and he might want them to be pink. Some guys are sentimental like that…I think._

_So she buys him the pink ping-pong balls. He goes home, goes upstairs, goes to his room, goes out the back window, goes behind the house, and goes back to college without the pink ping-pong balls. His girlfriend asks,_

_'What happened to the pink ping-pong balls?' He shrugs his shoulders and walks off. His girlfriend breaks up with him because he never talks to her._

_So, he goes home to visit his parents over Spring Break. His parents are really starting to wonder about the pink ping-pong balls-"_

"You mean they weren't before?" Quistis asks. Rinoa gives her a death glare. "Okay! I'll be quiet!"

_"So they tell him to explain about the pink ping-pong balls. He says,_

_'Fine, I'll tell you but first I need to go get something at the mall. When I come home I'll tell you all about them.'_

_His parents agree and he goes to pick up whatever it was that he needed. He wanders into KB Toys and sees this HUGE bag of, what else? pink ping-pong balls. But it's on the top shelf. He starts to climb up the shelves, the shelves collapse on top of him, he dies, and we never find out what happened to the pink ping-pong balls."_

Rinoa smiled. Everyone just stood in shock. Then they all narrowed their eyes, except for Squall, because he had fallen asleep.

"You just wasted ten minutes of my life!" Seifer screams.

"I want my time back!" Selphie yells.

"I hate you." Quistis mutters.

Squall snores. Zell just sits there, dumbstruck.

"And you're positive that he wasn't gay?" Irvine asks.

The rest of the evening was spent throwing rotten produce at Rinoa and Irvine.

**A/N: Well, I hope guys liked this chapter. Send in a review and I'll give you an invisible cookie! XOXOXO**


	15. Thirteenth Day

**A/N: Wow! I'm actually updating twice in one year!111oneone. Haha! So, a thanks to my reviewers. This chapter is going to be somewhat different…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bohemian Rhapsody, Achy Breaky Heart, Miss Congeniality, American Idol, Friends, The Price is Right, and The Lumberjack Song.**

Hotdog Angelo – You think my pink ping-pong balls are gay? cries Just kidding.

MajesticPhoenix - Yay! Adjectives! Thanks for the review.

thugstra – Nope, that was the joke. He dies. I'm sorry it took so long!

chococat2 – No problem!** huggles again**

**Day Thirteen**

Just like every other day, the gang was bored. Very, very bored.

"Wanna play a board game?" asked Rinoa.

"No." replied everyone.

"Anyone hungry?" asked Zell.

"No."

"Wanna watch TV?" asked Irvine.

"No."

"Wanna watch me and Quistis make out?" asked Seifer.

"NO!"

"Want to help me grade papers?" Quistis asked.

"No.

"….?" asked Squall.

"No."

"I have an idea!" says Selphie. Everyone groans, loudly. "It'll be fun! We can have a talent show!"

Everyone blinks, then shrugs.

"Whatever." Seifer says.

"You stole my line bitch!" Squall screams, jumping on Seifer.

"Get offa me Puberty Boy!" They continue to fight as Selphie hashes out the details.

"Ok. So we'll all get into the pretty costumes I brought with me just in case. Then we'll do our talent. We'll hold up a sign with numbers between 1 and 10, ten being the highest. Whoever has the highest score wins!"

"What does the winner get?" Rinoa asks.

"The first chance to punch Headmaster Cid in the face when we get out tomorrow." Seifer and Squall stop fighting when they hear this. They look at each other.

"We're in!" they say simultaneously.

"Yay!" Selphie exclaims. "C'mon! I'll get out the costumes!" Everyone goes in to the girls room to get their costumes.

A few minutes later, everyone is ready to go. Irvine goes first. He's wearing a white rhinestone cowboy suit with a matching hat…and spurs. He puts a CD on. It's My Achy Breaky Heart. ((The horror!))

_Now don't tell my heart_

_My Achy Breaky Heart…_

Irvine starts to do the Rollar Coaster….badly.

"Okay Irvine, you can do this," he says to himself. "Two right, two left, two front…wait! No…two back…"

The CD is cut off by Quistis.

"Well, what did you think?" he asks.

"Dawg, that was bad, man!" Zell says.

"I-I'm sure you have other wonderful talents. You're a wonderful person." Rinoa says.

"Honestly, that was the worst thing I've ever seen. You are possibly the worst line dancer in Balamb." Squall says in a British accent. Irvine hangs his head.

**Irvine's scores: 3 from Quistis**

**4 from Rinoa**

**0 from Squall**

**2 from Zell**

**3 from Seifer**

**10 from Selphie.**

**Total: 18**

Next, Selphie came up in a poofy pink dress. "I need a volunteer from the audience." She said, looking around. "Seifer! You'll be perfect."

Seifer got up.

"Now, I'm going to show you a basic self-defense move. You can remember it by S.I.N.G." She walks over to Seifer. She stands in front of him. She elbows him really hard in the **_s_**olar plexus,

steps on his **_i_**nstep, backfists her hand into his **_n_**ose, and knees his **_g_**roin.

"See? S-I-N-G." Seifer meanwhile, is on the floor in a fetal position, crying for his mommy. Everyone but Quistis and Seifer claps.

**Selphie's scores: 0 from Seifer**

**0 from Quistis**

**10 from Irvine**

**10 from Squall**

**8 from Rinoa**

**10+ from Zell**

**Total: 38**

Seifer was going to go next but he needs to recuperate for awhile. So, Squall gets up. He's in his normal day attire, even though Selphie tried to get him to wear something that looked like it came from the "Liberace house of crap" ((Chandler – The One With the Prom Video- Friends)). He gets five cinderblocks from the closet, sets them on top of each other, pulls his gunblade out, and chops them in half. Then he walks back to his seat.

**Squall scores: 8 from Selphie**

**7 from Zell**

**10 from Rinoa**

**2 from Seifer**

**6 from Quistis**

**0 from Irvine ((for revenge))**

**Total: 33**

Next is Rinoa. She's wearing a straight red dress, that is classy, yet seductive. She decides to sing the beginning to Bohemian Rhapsody, badly.

"_Is this the real life-_

_Is this just fantasyyyyyy-_

_Caught in a landslide-_

_No escape from cough reality-_

_Open your eyesssssssss_

_Look up to the skies and seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-_

_I'm just a poor boy- I mean girl, I need no sympathy-_

_Because I'm easy come, easy go,_

_A little high, little low,_

_Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to meeeeeeeeeeeee,_

_To me._"

**Rinoa's scores: 4 from Squall ((he can't lie))**

**2 from Selphie**

**2 from Irvine**

**3 from Zell**

**0 from Seifer**

**1 from Quistis**

**Total: 12**

Rinoa starts to cry.

"You're crying because you killed the song, right?" Seifer asks with a smirk. Rinoa sits down, sniffling.

Zell gets up to do his. He's in a lumberjack suit. He decides to also sing.

"_I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay._

_I sleep all night and I work all day._

_I cut down trees, I eat my lunch_

_I go to the lavatory._

_On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea._

_I cut down trees, I skip and jump_

_I like to press wild flowers._

_I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars._

_I cut down trees, I wear high heels_

_Suspendies and a bra._

_I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear pappa._

_I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay._

_I sleep all night and I work all day_."

Everyone has just about died laughing at this point.

"I always knew he was gay!" Seifer laughs.

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"…Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Ha! I win!"

Seifer feels very stupid after that.

**Zell's scores: 10 from Selphie**

**5 from Squall ((for stupidity))**

**0 from Seifer**

**6 from Quistis**

**10 from Irvine**

**9 from Rinoa**

**Total: 40**

Quistis, no matter how hard everyone tries, refuses to do a talent. When they still persist, she takes out her Save the Queen.

"Fine! But I need a volunteer!"

They decide to leave her alone.

Seifer is feeling better at this point so he decides to go.

"Okay, I also need a volunteer from the audience. Quistis, come on down!" Quistis goes over to him. "I'm going to show you some simple ways to say things to a girl…physically.. If you want to 'just be friends', you do this."

He shakes Quistis' hand…loosely. "If you'd like a second date, you do this."

He kisses Quistis on the cheek and winks at her. "If you want to be serious with her, you do this."

He kisses her on the lips, gently and grabs her waist.

"Awww!" Selphie says, tears forming. Irvine wraps his arms around her. Rinoa lays her head in Squall's lap and Squall strokes her hair.

**Seifer scores: 10 from Quistis**

**10 from Selphie**

**10 from Irvine**

**10 from Rinoa**

**10 from Squall**

**9.5 from Zell**

**Total: 59.5**

"ALRIGHT! I WIN!" Seifer then faints with happiness.

**A/N: I'm sorry if this one was boring. Writer's block sucks. Well, the next chapter is the last. I'll try to hurry up with it. Thanks again to my reviewers!**


	16. The Last Day

**A/N: Well, this the last chapter. _cries_ I hope you all enjoyed this fic as much as I did writing it. If you really liked it, I suggest you read some of my other stuff, especially Gone With the Squall and its sequel Ummm.Yeah. Both are hilarious in my opinion with me and my friends very odd humor. So…yeah. Thanks for reading! Thanks to my reviewer.**

chococat2 – Yay! I'm glad you liked it.

**Day Fourteen – The Last Day**

Squall, thinking he was the only one up, skipped into the kitchen…he wasn't the only one up. Selphie, Quistis, and Rinoa were giggling like mad. He scowled and made himself some toast.

"What are you so happy about?" Rinoa asked.

"What do you _think_ I'm happy about?"

"That it's a _beautiful_ new day?" suggested Selphie.

"No…."

"It's because it's the last day in this dump." Seifer said, coming into the kitchen.

"Thank you." said Squall.

Suddenly, two simultaneous thumps were heard, followed by two, "Ow!"s. Irvine and Zell came in rubbing their heads. They looked up to see Seifer, Squall, Selphie, Rinoa, and Quistis looking at them.

"We fell out of our bunks…_for the last time_!" Irvine cried, throwing his hat into the air. "Yeeeeehah!"

"Booya!" Zell exclaimed, pumping his face in the air. Everyone started to cheer except for Selphie, who began to cry.

"What's wrong, Baby?" Irvine asked, putting his shoulder around her.

"I-I'm (hic) gonna miss it here! (hic)"

Everyone stopped, and glared at the brunette.

"You're joking, right?" asked Zell.

"Tee-hee. Yeah, I am!" Selphie said, jumping into Irvine's arms. After the commotion had died down and everyone was eating, a question popped up.

"What time is Cid letting us out?" Quistis asked. They all stared at each other.

"I dunno…" Rinoa answered for them. "Soon hopefully. Well, I need to go pack up before he does get here."

"Same here," Irvine said. Everyone else also decided to go pack.

"Don't forget," Seifer started to say, "I get the first blow to Cid!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." they replied.

After everyone was done packing, they sat around in the living area, watching TV.

"Oh, Zell. I forgot to ask. What were you trying to get us to look at the other day?" Quistis asked.

"Umm…actually…I kinda forgot. I'm sure it wasn't important though." he replied.

"Yeah, probably not."

"Hey! What should we do with all the leftover food?" Selphie asked from the kitchen.

"What do we have left?" Rinoa asked.

"Uh…some pasta, bread, Tonberry, sodas, juice, icecream, well, a little bit of everything."

"I guess we can have the rest for lunch…you know, no set meal plan."

"Okiday!"

So they ate lunch and went back to the living area…waiting for Cid to open the door. And they waited…and waited. Around five, they started to get really impatient.

Seifer was breathing heavily, trying to fight the urge to punch the wall.

Squall was holding his gunblade, wondering if Cid liked to be sliced vertically or horizontally in half.

Selphie was biting her nails…actually, she had gotten to the pink part and didn't notice her fingers were bleeding because she was so angry.

Irvine was debating whether he should just kill Cid right off or make him suffer by shooting off every appendage.

Quistis was trying to control her anger by plucking her hair out one by one.

Rinoa was brushing up on some spells that would have all elements cast at once, making the victim suffer horrible.

Zell was trying to remember what he had been trying to show them all the day before.

"Oh. My. Hyne! Where is he?" Rinoa screamed, breaking the silence. "I'm going to kill someone! I truly am!" Her pupils disappeared and her eyes started to turn white. Everyone scrambled on top of her, trying to calm her down.

She eventually got back to her normal state and decided to take a nap on the couch. She laid her head in Squall's lap and went to sleep. Selphie did the same with Irvine, as did Quistis with Seifer. Eventually, Zell was the only one awake. And he still couldn't figure it out what it was he was trying to show them.

"C'mon Zell, think!" he said to himself. It suddenly came to him.

"Guys! I remember! I remember what I was trying to show you!" he yelled happily.

"Be quiet, Zell! We're trying to sleep!" Squall said groggily.

"But-"

"BE QUIET!" they all yelled.

"Fine!"

He walked into the guys' room. Quistis wasn't able to get back to sleep and she heard him scuffling around in there.

"He's probably doing some re-packing or something," she said to herself. She fell asleep again.

A couple of hours later Selphie ran into the living area.

"Guys! Wake up!"

They jolted awake.

"What's wrong Selph?" Rinoa asked, rubbing her eyes.

"I can't find Zell!"

"Huh?"

"I've looked _everywhere, _I have no idea where he is!"

"What? How would he even be able to get out?" Quistis asked.

"I have no idea. Could y'all help me search for him, just in case I missed. For all I know, he could be asleep somewhere."

They all searched for Zell, but they couldn't find him anywhere.

"Well, he obviously found some way to get out, lucky bastard." Irvine said, flopping onto the couch.

"He isn't going be so lucky." Squall said, sitting down in an armchair.

"Why not?"

"Because he'll have to answer to Cid, that's why."

"Haha! What an idiot!"

Quistis came in saying, "Well, Cid better get here soon, because I'm going to _kill_ Zell, when I see him next."

"Same here." said Seifer.

They heard the doorknob rattle. Everyone looked towards the door and jumped up. The door opened and everyone ran out.

"FREEDOM!" yelled Irvine, getting down on all fours and kissing the ground.

The rest looked at who opened the door. It was Cid, with Zell by his side. They glared evilly at both of them. Cid smiled.

"Well, you should have listened to Zell when he tried to show you that certain something." he said.

"You mean he's not in trouble!" Selphie asked.

"Why would he be in trouble?" asked Cid.

"Am I the only one who read the flier in the kitchen on the fridge?" Zell asked.

"What flier?" Rinoa asked.

"The one that said, 'If you can find a way out before the two weeks are up, your pay will double.'"

Everyone's jaws dropped ((almost literally)) to the floor.

"I was trying to tell y'all that there was a window behind that SeeD poster in the bedroom!" Zell said. "So don't blame me."

"Believe me. We don't." Squall said, glaring at Cid. "Seifer, you do the honors."

"Oh, I've got something better planned." he said.

Having said that, Seifer lifts Cid up by the sweater-vest and tosses him into the room that they stayed in for two weeks, slammed the door, and locked it. Everyone cheered.

"C'mon guys. Let's go get some hotdogs from the cafeteria." Zell said. They did just that.

_**The End**_


End file.
